My Brain Runneth Over

Opinions are like assholes…

… Everybody has one and they always stink.

If yours doesn’t stink then we should be friends because I want to know your secret!

That’s the beauty of this little blog of mine. I can give you my opinion and I don’t have to hear yours!! I kid I kid. Feel free to leave your opinion in the comments; I like to consider myself a pretty open-minded person. You might not change my mind, but I will respect that we see things differently. But guess what? This particular post is not about my opinion on a specific worldly topic. You see, that was never my intention when I started bogging. It just kind of worked out that I had some very strong opinions I needed to get off my chest. Don’t worry; I’ve got plenty more, just not today. Today is all about stream of consciousness because none of the things on my mind constitute their own dedicated post.

I don’t know how to iron. In fact, I don’t even own an iron. I used to, but I didn’t know how to use it so I gave it to good will. Obviously, I know how an iron works. But any efforts I’ve ever made to iron a shirt have made it look worse than it was when I started. I have even gone so far as to drive to my mom’s house 45 minutes away to have her iron a shirt for my husband. Is there a support group for this?

I also don’t know how to cook. Again, I know HOW to cook, but I’m really bad at it. Any time I try to “throw something together” it comes out really bland and plain. And following a recipe turns into a two hour ordeal. How do people just know what things will go good together? I accidentally watched an episode of Hell’s Kitchen the other day and I was very intrigued by their intuitive cooking decisions. Does anyone want to teach me how to cook? I am more than willing to accept free lessons in exchange for some quality time with yours truly.

I walk to and from work. Most afternoons I have my headphones on because I was listening to them at work and don’t want to take them off. But in the mornings I’m left with nothing but my thoughts. Is it weird that I hum my thoughts (in my head, of course) to the wedding march? Not “here comes the bride”, but the one that they play as the bride and groom exit the church. It’s unfortunate that I can’t insert a sound clip of how my thoughts sound to me. And it’s actually really annoying, but I can’t make it stop. For some reason, that tune is always in my head and my thoughts feel the need to follow the beat.

I love to sing. Like, really love to sing on a level where I wish I could do it professionally. There is only one teeny tiny problem. I’m terrible at it!! Sometimes (ok, all the time), when I’m in the car singing along to Carrie Underwood or Jennifer Nettles I will plug one ear so I can see what I sound like….it’s never good. American Idol had auditions in Charlotte a couple weeks ago. I seriously considered going in hopes that maybe I’m not as bad as I think I am. But who am I kidding, I’m tone deaf. I’ve often wondered if that’s something that can be fixed with voice lessons. Does anyone want to go to a karaoke bar with me?

I gave up caffeine again. I’m on day three and my head feels like it’s going to explode. I did not, however, give up diet coke. I still drink caffeine free diet coke because it feels so good when it touches the lips.

Sometimes when I’m around new people I act weird. And by weird I mean normal. Because I am a weird person with an inappropriate sense of humor, but when I’m around new people I am sometimes afraid to be myself for fear of making a bad impression. I’ve made a few new friends this year and it’s very likely that they don’t know the real me yet. In my head I know that I’m not really being myself, but when I try to force it I come off even weirder than I actually am. Is that some Freudian thing?

On that note, making friends as an adult is hard. There’s that awkward “should I give her my number?” thing and then the first time you hang out it’s like “oh my god, what are we going to talk about for an entire meal, we barely know each other!.” All I’m saying is thank goodness for Facebook. It allows sufficient means for stalking prior to a face to face meeting so we have something to talk about.

I’ve secretly wished I could dance for as long as I can remember. I’m not talking about nightclub dancing; I’ve got that taken care of. I’m talking about Britney Spears back-up, NFL football, flash mob dancing. I’m sure there’s a name for it but I don’t know what it is. I actually have a couple friends that dance professionally and I’m secretly jealous of them. Is 27 too late to start dancing?

Wouldn’t it be cool to be part of a flash mob? That’s something that I fully intend to do before I die. Maybe I’ll even organize it myself.

Thanks for sticking around to read my insignificant thoughts. You're a real trooper.

In the Ditch of Life

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things that I wanted to write about lately. There is one super big thing that I am so excited to gush about, but alas, I must wait. (I AM NOT PREGNANT. As soon as I typed that I realized that was the first thing everyone would assume). Anyways, the reason I haven’t blogged lately is because I’m in a rut. A deep, funky, bad mood inducing, life altering rut.

You see, at the beginning of March I went on a health kick. I was eating healthy, I’d given up caffeine, I worked out almost every day for 1-2 hours, and I was on top of my shit. (shit = laundry, chores, bills, work stuff, friend stuff…life in general) Not only was it a piece of cake for me to turn down junk food (get it?), but I didn’t even really crave it all that often. I was so healthy I didn’t even want to be unhealthy! I got motivated to do all that stuff on my own, but shortly after I started working out my siblings and I started having these fitness challenges. And there is nothing like a little healthy sibling rivalry to get your juices flowing, am I right? I was feeling pretty damn good about myself.

Fast forward to June 2, the day our last fitness challenge ended. I didn’t win, my sister in law is a beast on the treadmill, but that didn’t bother me. What bothers me is that the day the challenge ended my motivation came to a screeching halt. That’s an understatement; my motivation went running full speed in the opposite direction and never looked back. And sadly, it wasn’t just my work out routine that suffered. My house is a mess, the laundry is out of control, phone calls need to be made, I haven’t been talking to my friends, my poor husband is probably tired of me lashing out at him, my car is due for inspection, bills need to be paid, groceries need to be bought, books need to be read/studied….and I am just not feeling it. And to make matters worse, I can’t stop eating junk food!! I am eating a “share size” bag of skittles as I write this post. I can’t remember the last time I ate a vegetable. Or a fruit for that matter. I went three months without eating a French fry and now it’s almost a daily occurrence. I am terrified to step on a scale to see how much weight I’ve gained. My clothes don’t fit differently yet, but I definitely feel like crap.

How do I get out of this rut? I’ve tried retail therapy. If you follow me on Instagram (jmelynng) then you’ve seen some of the super cute new clothes I’ve gotten (and on clearance!!), but retail therapy is not doing the trick. I went to yoga last Saturday and I really thought that those 75 minutes of calm strengthening would help….it didn’t. It just made my gluteus hurt for two days. I know that this battle is mental. I tell myself everyday “self, you’re going to go home and eat a healthy lunch while you sort through the giant stack of mail on the counter”…. and every day I find myself at another restaurant ordering something else fried or greasy. Le sigh.

I’ve put all this out there because I’m hoping that telling all of you how pathetic I have been will motivate me to be less pathetic. Now that I am done with this self loathing post, and that giant bag of skittles, I’m going to have a healthy lunch and clean my house. And later I am going to go to the gym and then have drinks with a couple of friends. This weekend I am going to spend three days taking excellent care of my sweet baby niece and my sick mother, and on Monday I am going to get up early with a positive attitude and I am going to conquer this rut!!

Drive Me Crazy

I'm sitting in my hotel room three and a half hours from home. After the drive I feel compelled to complain about the bad drivers with whom I was forced to share the road. First, a quick story about my most righteous road rage moment.

A few months ago I was making the same three and a half hour drive with my mom. I was cruising down the interstate, literally with the car on cruise control, at about 80mph (the speed limit was 70 so that's not too bad). On this particular stretch of interstate the road was four lanes wide and there were three cars within sight, including myself. I was in the fast lane, because I was driving fast, there was an SUV ahead of me in the next lane to my right, and an 18 wheeler ahead of me in the far right-hand lane. As I approached the SUV at 80mph (she appeared to be going 55-60mph) she began to slowly creep into my lane. Since I was driving so much faster then her and I was only about 20ft. away from her bumper I laid on my horn. Her response?? She turned on her turn signal and continued to merge into my lane. Clearly left with no other choice, I slammed on the brakes to slow down. But getting into my lane wasn't good enough for this genius. As soon as she got into my lane, she slammed on her brakes and came to a COMPLETE STOP right in front of me...in the middle of the interstate. Keep in mind I was going 80mph about 5 seconds ago. So I slammed the brakes even harder in an effort to stop, swerved my car on to the shoulder missing her by literally a millimeter, and came to a complete stop right next to her. Me in the grass and her in my lane. This lunatic looked at me and then immediately took off, crossed back over all four lanes and exited the interstate. Road rage doesn't even put a dent in how mad I was. Had there been a gun in my car, I absolutely would have pulled it out and shot out her tires without hesitation. WHO DOES THAT? I have no idea why she felt the need to get in my lane...there was no one behind her, no one in the lane to her right, and she never pulled off the road. And why would you stop in the middle of the interstate? Especially when someone is coming up on you at 80mph and laying on the horn?? I briefly considered following her, but like I mentioned, my very frail mother was in the car. The impact of that collision would have broken every bone in her body. Pure rage.

I am aware that people may think I am a bad driver for whatever reason....because I drive too fast, run red lights with a three second grace period, drive with my knees, whatever. But even while doing all of those things, I still try not to be a jerk to the other people on the road.

I think my biggest pet peeve is people who ride in my blind spot. First of all, its dangerous. If you're going to spend 20 miles driving down the interstate in my blind spot then you can't really complain when I decide to change lanes and land on your car. But aside from that, its annoying and idiotic. If you're going to drive the exact same speed as me then get in front of me or behind me. Why is that so hard for people to do? Additionally, if it's only a two lane road, then you're preventing anyone else from getting by as well. Don't be an asshole!

I also find it incredibly road rage inducing when people can't decide how fast they want to go. I drove over 40 miles on the way up here with my cruise control set on 78. I never changed speeds. Yet the truck in the lane next to me got two car lengths ahead of me, then fell two car lengths behind me, the rode in my blind spot, then got ahead of me and repeated the cycle over and over. Is it that difficult to put your foot on the gas and hold it still? (I'm looking at you Casey!)

People who ride my ass in a traffic jam are just asking to be brake checked. I can't go any faster than the car in front of me or the other 500 cars in front of him, do you really think you're going to get there any faster if you ride 6 inches from my tailgate?

I also don't understand why, on a heavily trafficked interstate, someone will speed up when I turn on my signal to change lanes. I do my best not to cut people off and only get over when there is a reasonable break in traffic. But, if I try to be polite about it and use my turn signal, and you treat it as a reason to speed up so I can't get over, then not only am I going to cut you off, then I'm going to slow down and drive like an asshole to give you a taste of your own medicine.

And lastly, people who don't know how to merge make me want to rear end them just to push them into traffic. Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't we have to learn the difference between a yield sign and a stop sign in order to get a driver's license? Merging does not require coming to a complete stop, and doing so drives me crazy! Get it?!?...The cheese stands alone. :)

Whew, I feel better now.

Love Who You Love

There are so many things I could say, and arguments I could make, about the government's interference into the lives of our gay peers. Separation of church and state and all that good stuff. But, this is not a politicial blog and I have no desire to talk politics. I just want to talk about tolerance, acceptance, and quite simply...love.

Whether you believe that a person's sexuality is a choice or something that is decided for them through genetic coding or whatever....who cares!?!? Vegetarian's choose not to eat meat and I still like them. Coming from someone who has a religious experience every time I eat a cheeseburger, that's a big deal!

Can someone please explain to me why it is so hard for the citizens of this country to be tolerant and accepting of our peers in the LGBT community?? Love thy neighbor, man! I know it's not everyone, and thankfully we are slowly starting to see more tolerance, but it's the people that continue to be close-minded (and in a lot of cases, downright hateful) that blow me away. I literally cringe when I hear someone use derogatory gay slang as an insult for another person (whether that target be gay or straight). You honestly think that being gay is such a bad thing that it's an insult? Shame on you.

Some of the most vocal advocates against the LGBT community site the Bible and/or their religion as the reason it is wrong. If that is what you believe that is okay, you get to make your own life choices. But, you can find hundreds of Bible verses on love, acceptance, and tolerance of our fellow man. Why is it OK for you to have disdain for another person (when the Bible says you shouldn't) for loving someone of the same sex (when the Bible says they shouldn't)? I am not a super religious person and I'm not looking for a debate on Bible interpretations. I am just pointing out that it is hypocritical for any person to use the Bible's teachings as a reason to hate any other person.

There are also people that are prejudice of the LGBT community out of blatant ignorance. I honestly can not think of one argument for hating a gay person that I can't refute without effort. For example, I know that a lot of guys will claim to dislike gay people because they don't want to get hit on. It grosses them out. Well guess what? It grosses me out when thugs hit on me (Ay baby can I get yo numba?), but I don't hate them.  I don't even dislike them. Most of them are actually really polite when they aren't showing off for their thug friends. That's more an issue of manners. Some gay people have manners, some don't. Some thugs have manners, some don't. Hell, sometimes I have manners, and sometimes I don't! (its rare, but it happens) Maybe you don't like gay people because you think they ogle you? Well, welcome to the world of EVERY WOMAN IN AMERICA! Who cares, consider it a compliment and move on with your life.

My point is that it should be of no concern to any of us who another person chooses to love. Gay, straight, black, white, or asain....what effect does it have on me? None. It is no different than hating a person because they choose to love a vegetarian (a choice), an atheist (a choice), a blond (a genetic determination), or a midget (a genetic determination). All of these adjectives are completely irrelevant to who those people are. It breaks my heart that my friends, people just like me, are treated so differently for absolutely no good reason.

B*tches be Crazy

Do you know what I don't understand? Controlling women, crazy b*itches. I'm talking about the kind of woman that controls her husband/boyfriend (and treats him like a child) to the point that people outside of the relationship wonder why he is still with her. I'm not here to digest any one's relationship and say that a man should leave his significant other if she's running his life. If he's cool with it and they're happy then good for them. What I don't understand is how a person's conscious can allow them to treat someone they supposedly love that way.

I have been around a group of people and heard a girl say to her husband something along the lines of "You're a f***ing idiot"...what the hell? My husband has never laid a hand on me, but if I said that to him (in front of a group of people no less) and he back-handed me for it, I can't really say that I would blame him! (I'm not condoning abuse, just trying to make a point). This is usually the same girl who won't allow her husband to go out with friends if she can't be there because she might miss out. The girl who never lets her spouse have "guy time." The girl that makes her husband ask for permission for every move he makes (like is it OK to go to lunch with my friends at work or do I have to eat at my desk by myself today? Or do you mind if I loan out my Wii to a friend for a few days?)

I believe the root of this issue is respect. I respect my husband to the extent that I never curse at him, call him names, or do anything else to belittle him as a person (and he is respectful enough to return the favor). What appalls me is women that not only do these things to their spouse, but they do it front of other people! That, in my opinion, is the epitome of disrespect. Additionally, someone who doesn't respect their spouse/significant other is also not likely to acknowledge that they are intelligent enough to make good, informed decisions on their own.

First of all, why would you want a man that lets you walk all over him like that? What a wuss! I have no desire to tell my husband what he can and can't do, but if I tried I'd like to think that he would stand up to me. I tend to like my men with a spine.

Secondly, how can you humiliate your husband by calling him names (whether in public or private) and not feel like a complete dirt bag? Does it make you feel better to belittle the people you love? If so, you need therapy.

Thirdly (third of all??), it is not healthy for one person in a relationship to have all of the authority. I have more than outgrown the age where I need to ask permission for anything I do. There are a lot of things that my husband and I discuss before we do, but we have that discussion as a courtesy. If he wants to go out with his friends Friday he might say "Hey, do you mind if I go out with the guys on Friday?" He's not asking me to get permission and I would never dream of telling him no unless for some reason we had already committed to something that he forgot about.  Believe it or not, I know women that will say no, for no reason other than he needs to stay home because she has to work the next morning so it's not fair that she has to stay home (or something else equally selfish and childish).

Lastly, I believe it makes a relationship stronger if both man and woman have times that they can enjoy the company of their friends without the old ball and chain tagging along. Time apart is healthy even if it's seldom.

P.S. I am fully aware that there are just as many crazy, controlling men as there are woman. I just don't happen to know any of those so this post is just about crazy b*tches! :)

Répondez, S'il Vous Plaît: A Necessity, Not a Formality

Note from Jamie: This is my first guest post from my sister-in-law, who had something she needed to get off of her chest.

By: Taylor Culjan

I may not have come from the most refined of homes, been part of the most polite and sophisticated groups in society, or attended some absurd and pretentious finishing school, but my mother taught me manners. It’s astounding to me how many people lack the simple courtesy involved in replying to an invitation. As a parent, wife, and young (relatively) woman, I enjoy entertaining. I frequently hold casual parties and small gatherings at my home, those of which include children’s birthday parties, Halloween parties, Christmas Eve parties, Baptism receptions, showers, and the like. I spend an appreciable amount of money on these events. You’d be astonished at the costs and preparation involved in planning these functions. Take a child’s birthday party, for example. You have the following basic expenses for a moderately-scaled soiree: Invitations ($30-$60), Refreshments ($150-$200), Entertainment ($100-$200), Decorations ($100-$150), and Favors ($50-$75). So, if I am spending $500 or more on hosting a child’s party, I am inclined to believe that I have a fair or ample amount of guests attending my event. After assembling thirty or more goody bags, ordering a cake large enough to feed all of my guests, buying enough food and drink to be assured that all are well-fed, setting up tables and chairs, moving my own furniture to accommodate a decent number of people in my humble abode, sanitizing, disinfecting, and expunging both bathrooms and the rest of my modest castle until all of it sparkles ridiculously, relocating vehicles from the driveway for visitor parking space, mowing and tidying up the lawn, cooking, preparing, and setting out appetizers, main dishes, and desserts, setting out utensils, table cloths, snacks, hanging decorations, and any other last minute components of preparation and beautification, I am thoroughly (and my husband may say absurdly and unnecessarily) frazzled and often fatigued.

Do you have any idea what happens next? For the next two-three hours, a frenzied hostess dashes throughout the house receiving and serving guests, making sure the birthday girl has a genuine smile planted firmly on her face, and trying to remember to take the occasional breath for good measure.

About three-fourths of the way through the party, I notice that you’re not there. I assumed (yes, we all know what happens when I assume) you were coming. I didn’t really notice your absence at first (don’t flatter yourself), but there’s all this uneaten food on the table, and there’s eight goody bags yet unclaimed. Yet, I plainly recall sending you an expensive, custom-printed and designed invitation through the mail. News flash: that’s my money you just wasted. That’s my time you squandered. Your unclaimed party favor and your uneaten plate symbolize a lack of respect, graciousness, and to be completely honest, good breeding. Perhaps my feelings are or are not bruised because of your absence. Mayhap it’s the sensibilities of a child you’ve affected. People do not always comprehend or acknowledge how offensive it can be to simply “not show up.”

Take the 30 seconds to R.S.V.P. With all the forms of communication in our technological and digital world, send an email, text, or leave a voicemail. You have no excuse…but “regrets only”.

Money Matters

I want to talk about this country's problem with money management. I'm not talking about our government, that's a whole other issue. I'm talking about the regular folks, the "99%", if you will.

I've tried to write this several different ways now, and each time it ends up sounding kind of mean. At the risk of offending someone (but no one in particular, I'm not attacking), I'm going to write it anyways.

DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to know everything about money management, or budgeting, or this country's problems. This is just my two cents on the subject.

I know some people, and of some people, that are so bad at managing their finances that it just makes you want to shake the shit out of them and scream "Are you really that stupid???" (See? Mean.) First, let me say that I do not talk to people about my finances. No one, except my husband, knows how much money we make and what kind of bills we pay each month or what we save, etc. But believe it or not, there are people who have no problem sharing this information. What's funny is that it's usually the people that are making the worst financial decisions that are eager to share their business with others.

I used to know someone who was never embarrassed to tell me that all five of their credit cards were maxed out and they only had $100 in the bank. If that's your situation then okay, do the best you can, but in the same breath they would say something like "oh yeah, we're going to the beach for a weekend getaway"....wait, what? With what money?? "Oh, did I say the credit cards were maxed out? We actually have $100 left on one so that will be plenty." I'm not making this stuff up. Some people really are that terrible at managing their money. The second they make a payment on the credit card they just turn around and spend it again. I can't even count the number of times that I offered to help them work out a budget so they could get out of debt and then save up for a vacation, or car, or whatever frivolous thing they were always spending money on. They were never interested in the responsible route... I know someone else who would talk about their $30k+ in debt one week, the new truck they just leased the next week, the collections calls about the credit cards the next week, and the fence they were installing in the backyard the next week. You. Idiot.

I'm not trying to tell people what they should or shouldn't spend their money on. One of the beauties of this country is that you can spend your money on whatever you want (well, most of it, but I digress). If you can afford it, then who am I to say you shouldn't go out and buy every season of Dawson's Creek on DVD to watch on the brand new 70" TV you just bought? Knock yourself out!! But the problem is that the people who can't afford it are continuously maxed out on their credit cards and struggling to make ends meet because they don't understand that you can't buy everything you want just because you have a few dollars of open credit on the MasterCard. You, my friends, are the reason this country is in such a terrible financial situation. Just because a credit card company is dumb enough to give you a $10,000 line of credit doesn't mean that you should be dumb enough to max it out when you know damn well you can't pay it back, at 20% interest no less! Use your heads people!

Don't even get me started on people buying houses with mortgages they can't afford just because the bank was greedy enough to loan them the money. Hello mortgage crisis.

Here is my point. I have a point! This country's situation is only going to get worse if people don't learn how to manage their money and get themselves out of debt rather than expecting the government to do it for them. It's not Obama's fault that you're an idiot. (I know, mean, the truth hurts)

End rant.

I would like to offer up a couple small pieces of advice as my contribution to society. It's not going to get anyone out debt next month, but it will certainly point them in the right direction.

1. Figure out where you can cut costs. I know that no one wants to live more frugally, but unfortunately it's a necessary evil. Reduce your cable package (or shut it off all together and pay $8/mo. for Hulu+). Call your insurance company to see if you qualify for any discounts or reductions (be careful, this back fired on me once and my rates went up when they ran a check and found a recent speeding ticket). Search coupons.com before you go to the grocery store for free coupons that you can print for the items that you usually buy. Reduce your cell phone minutes. You get my drift?

2. Call your credit card companies and ask them to lower your interest rate. This doesn't always work, but it has before. The worst thing they can do is tell you no.

3. Create a budget and stick to it. Your monthly budget should only include the things that you need to spend money on to get buy. Food (and I don't mean fancy dinners out), gas (and I don't mean weekend trips), utilities, etc. Everything thing that is leftover should be thrown at credit cards. Personally, I would make the minimum payment on the lower interest rate cards so that you can pay the higher interest rate cards off first. If they are all pretty much the same, split it up evenly or pay one off at a time.

And most importantly...

4. Learn how to to tell yourself no. I know it sounds fun to spend $100 every weekend at the bar. And I know it's hard to pass up that awesome sale at your favorite store or the sweet deal on a new car, or whatever it is that floats your boat. But, if you don't need it to get by, and you don't have the flexible income to buy it,  then you don't need it. Just say no and walk away.

SECOND DISCLAIMER: This post is not meant to ridicule anyone who is in debt and/or struggles to get by for the simple reason that life is expensive and the pay checks don't cover the bills. I get that.

Confidence

I started to blog about how poorly the people in this country, my peers, manage their money, but I get so mad about it that the post was becoming offensive. So, I'll revisit it another day.

Instead, I'm going to write about confidence issues, insecurities, narcissism, etc. This post was inspired by my brother who accused me of being a narcissist for posting fashion diaries on Facebook.

Allow me to explain....

I have always hated to waste a cute outfit on an insignificant day. I don't mean to sound cliche, it's the truth. I sit in a cubicle in a back corner of the office and no one ever sees me with the exception of my sister (who sits next to me) and a few random people that I don't know. Why would I dress up for that? This led me to get sloppy. Like, really sloppy. No make-up, hair in a ponytail, jeans, hoodies, the works. It got to the point where the few people I saw everyday were looking at me like I was some kind of hoodrat. I can't really say that I blame them. So I thought to myself, "Self, you have nice clothes and you need to wear them." My next thought was "but I don't want to extend that much effort on an outfit no one will see!" Well, there is a trend on Instagram (a photo sharing website for those of you living under a rock) where people take pictures of their outfit for the day and label it #fashiondiaries for all the other fashionistas to see (I use the term "fashionista" very loosely because I far, far from it.) And there, a solution was born. I'll dress up so I can post fashion diaries and lots of people can see my outfit! Anyways, I had all of my fashion diaries posting to Facebook as well, but I stopped when my brother called me a narcissist.

Now that you have that tidbit of useless and slightly insignificant information....

Confidence is funny. You can never tell who has it and who doesn't, and just because you have it doesn't mean you always have it. For example, me. People who know me probably think I'm confident to the point of arrogance at times.... no so my friends. I don't admit it often, but I am a very self conscious person. Like, very. I am usually only 100% confident about my appearance if someone else picked out my outfit and did my hair and make-up. Preferably my best friend because she has better taste than anyone I know. She told me a few weeks ago that I was kind of plan (in that good "less is more" kind of way) and the reason is because I don't have the confidence to try new things. I don't want to be judged! I don't mean to come off like a timid mouse about my appearance, I'm usually about 75% sure I don't look like a complete moron. However, if you put me in a room full of girls that confidence level plummets to about 25%. Girls are judgy and opinionated (I am not innocent in this) and I can only imagine what they would have to say about my efforts to be stylish. With all of that being said, I guess what might come off to some as narcissism (i.e. posting pictures of my outfit on Facebook) is really just an attempt to make sure I don't look like a fool. So help me, I will continue to post my fashion diaries on Instagram until I wear something that constitutes a "like" from my best friend! I'm kidding....kind of. :)

I went out last Thursday evening in an outfit that I did not feel so confident about because it was a little outside of my comfort zone. Trendy if you will. Within an hour of walking out the door I had three different people compliment my outfit. Suddenly, I felt pretty damn good about myself. On Sunday, I saw this girl walking through the park and I told my husband I loved her shoes. He said "aren't you going to tell her?" I didn't. He said "but you like it when people compliment you"....and he's right, because who doesn't?

Those are all material insecurities, though. There are also the even bigger physical insecurities. No matter what you think, even the most beautiful, or skinny, or fit people have things about them that they don't like and feel insecure about. We are our own worst critics, right? There is this gorgeous girl at work. She is 5'10 or 5'11, long natural blond hair, perfect figure...the works. Even I can't help but stare when I see her. But she can probably name three things off the top of her head that she hates about her looks. Even "perfect" people aren' t perfect in their own eyes. So, you can only imagine the laundry list of insecurities the average person has about their physical appearances.

This post is kind of all over the place, but I do have a point. What I am trying to say is that if you see someone wearing something that you really like, or who has pretty hair, or particularly noticeable eyes, or WHATEVER, you should tell them. Tell your significant other how nice they look whenever you get the chance and keep your nonconstructive criticisms to yourself. You never know who may be struggling with confidence issues. Just because they look it, doesn't mean they are!


Side note: This post is about appearances, but I could write a whole other post about confidence in your (my) career, intelligence, etc. Maybe some other day....