The End

Lately it seems like every year-end brings the closing of a chapter in my life. It's been a while since I started a new year with business as usual.

At the end of 2010 I got transferred from the nuclear plant that I worked at to the company's general office in the city. This marked the first time in 5 years that I wasn't able to have lunch with my mom because she worked at the same plant. It also marked the first time in 3 years that I wouldn't be working side by side with my sister. However, we all still worked for the same company so I could instant message them throughout the day to make the transition easier.

At the end of 2011 I faced an even bigger chapter end. I graduated with my degree in Finance. I no longer had to face 15-18 credit hours of school on top of my 40 hour work week. A week and a half later my husband and I sold our house in the suburbs and moved to the city, just two blocks from my office. I loved that house. But even with the sad goodbye to my house, I was glad to see 2011 end. It was quite possibly the hardest year of my life to date. On top of my new work assignment and school, my mom was re-diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. I spent a lot of that year working and studying in hospitals, sleeping in recliners, and eating terrible food. I also spent most of that year scared to death that I was going to lose my mom. Thankfully, that all came to an end with the year and she slowly started improving. The silver lining of 2011 was that my sister also got transferred so we were back to working side by side.

Now here we are. 2012 is coming to an end. With that I will be closing the biggest chapter of my life to date. My last day at my job of over 7 years is December 26. It's a bitter-sweet goodbye. I have wanted out of this job for quite some time, but saying goodbye is my least favorite thing on the planet. I won't really miss the job, but I will miss a few of the people. Mostly, I think I will miss sitting next to my sister; Being able to send her an IM about any fleeting thoughts I have, and grabbing lunch together when we're not too lazy to get out of our chairs. Because of the change in careers I will also be moving again, but it's not an ordinary move. I will be moving to a town two hours away (to live with roommates again!) and my husband will be staying here. So I have to move to a new town, and start a new job, and I have to do it all by myself.
This marks the first time I will have to be away from my husband for extended periods of time. Thinking about it for more than 30 seconds at a time is incredibly hard. This also marks the first time in my life that I will live more than 45 minutes away from my mom. I wont be able to stop by her house after work so she can iron something for me or drive her to Durham every other week for her doctor appointments. I thank God every day that she is in better health and I can leave knowing that she has many, many more years in this life.

So this is it. This is another ending to another chapter. I'm doing my best to get through all the endings without letting my emotions get the best of me. So far I'm winning, but I can feel them getting stronger with every passing day. Last week I only cried once, today I've already cried twice. 2013 is going to be a long year.