Lately it seems like every year-end brings the closing of a chapter in my life. It's been a while since I started a new year with business as usual.
At the end of 2010 I got transferred from the nuclear plant that I worked at to the company's general office in the city. This marked the first time in 5 years that I wasn't able to have lunch with my mom because she worked at the same plant. It also marked the first time in 3 years that I wouldn't be working side by side with my sister. However, we all still worked for the same company so I could instant message them throughout the day to make the transition easier.
At the end of 2011 I faced an even bigger chapter end. I graduated with my degree in Finance. I no longer had to face 15-18 credit hours of school on top of my 40 hour work week. A week and a half later my husband and I sold our house in the suburbs and moved to the city, just two blocks from my office. I loved that house. But even with the sad goodbye to my house, I was glad to see 2011 end. It was quite possibly the hardest year of my life to date. On top of my new work assignment and school, my mom was re-diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. I spent a lot of that year working and studying in hospitals, sleeping in recliners, and eating terrible food. I also spent most of that year scared to death that I was going to lose my mom. Thankfully, that all came to an end with the year and she slowly started improving. The silver lining of 2011 was that my sister also got transferred so we were back to working side by side.
Now here we are. 2012 is coming to an end. With that I will be closing the biggest chapter of my life to date. My last day at my job of over 7 years is December 26. It's a bitter-sweet goodbye. I have wanted out of this job for quite some time, but saying goodbye is my least favorite thing on the planet. I won't really miss the job, but I will miss a few of the people. Mostly, I think I will miss sitting next to my sister; Being able to send her an IM about any fleeting thoughts I have, and grabbing lunch together when we're not too lazy to get out of our chairs. Because of the change in careers I will also be moving again, but it's not an ordinary move. I will be moving to a town two hours away (to live with roommates again!) and my husband will be staying here. So I have to move to a new town, and start a new job, and I have to do it all by myself.
This marks the first time I will have to be away from my husband for extended periods of time. Thinking about it for more than 30 seconds at a time is incredibly hard. This also marks the first time in my life that I will live more than 45 minutes away from my mom. I wont be able to stop by her house after work so she can iron something for me or drive her to Durham every other week for her doctor appointments. I thank God every day that she is in better health and I can leave knowing that she has many, many more years in this life.
So this is it. This is another ending to another chapter. I'm doing my best to get through all the endings without letting my emotions get the best of me. So far I'm winning, but I can feel them getting stronger with every passing day. Last week I only cried once, today I've already cried twice. 2013 is going to be a long year.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
People Helping People
Name that title movie!
I’ve been feeling pretty philanthropic lately. I want to share some of the things that I have been involved in. Not because I want to toot my own horn or receive praise from anyone, but because I genuinely hope that hearing about my experiences will inspire you to participate in your community. If only one person is inspired then I didn’t waste my energy.
Let’s start with Doing My Part. DMP is a non-profit organization in Charlotte that raises money, $3 at a time, to give back to the community. (Please consider going to doingmypart.com and signing up for a monthly $3 donation) Here’s how it works: DMP collects $3 donations until they get to $1500. Once the pot hits $1500, that money is donated to a project and the ticker immediately starts over to collect money for the next project. DMP is very new, as we just completed our first project on August 11. And let me tell you, it was an awesome project.
DMP teamed up with Samaritan’s Feet to give shoes, socks, and book bags with basic school supplies to homeless children in Charlotte. We went to the women and children’s homeless shelter where we washed their feet, gave them a brand new pair of shoes and socks, and then sent them on their way with some new school supplies. It was a really awesome experience.
The cool thing about DMP is that you are a member of one organization, but you get to be involved in all kinds of things around the community. They are involved in helping the homeless, veteran assistance, cancer fundraising/support, and so on. They put a lot of effort into surveying the community, vetting organizations, and making sure their time and money is going to the most urgent needs.
Every other Sunday DMP’s Street Team teams up with Serve Charlotte’s Homeless to comb the streets of Uptown for homeless people, handing out food and toiletries. I have only had the opportunity to participate in this once, but I can’t recommend it enough. It’s really an eye opening experience that can change your outlook if you let it. If you’re interested in being a member of the Doing My Part Street Team or just donating $3 a month to be one of our heroes, let me know and I’ll point you in the right direction! If they can get 10,000 heroes we can do one project a month. Imagine how many people we could help!
Something else I participated in recently was Habitat for Humanity. I know everyone is familiar with this one and it’s actually kind of challenging to volunteer for them without being part of an organization that makes a donation to the build. This is the second time I have had the opportunity to work with Habitat and both experiences were incredibly different. But what’s cool about Habitat is that you’re working on a house side by side with the family that’s going to own it when it’s completed. That alone is enough to inspire me to want to help out people in different ways. There are so many organizations in every community that are in place to assist those less fortunate. The hardest part about helping out is deciding which one you want to donate your time to.
Just today I signed up, for the second year, to volunteer as a staff member for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in October. This experience is always cool because there are so many survivors who are so excited to be there. My mom is currently battling stage 4 breast cancer so this event is very close to my heart and always an uplifting experience. Organizations like this have a lot of paid help so my job isn’t always significant in task, but the most important part of volunteering for an organization like this is being a cheerleader. You have no idea how much the participants, the survivors, and the fighters appreciate it. That’s enough to make it worth my time.
I challenge you to find a cause that’s important to you and support the shit out of it. There are various causes that are close to my heart for various reasons and I can’t afford to donate money to all of them, but sometimes my time is more valuable. Decide what you can afford to do and take action. Your community needs you!
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Ghandi
I’ve been feeling pretty philanthropic lately. I want to share some of the things that I have been involved in. Not because I want to toot my own horn or receive praise from anyone, but because I genuinely hope that hearing about my experiences will inspire you to participate in your community. If only one person is inspired then I didn’t waste my energy.
Let’s start with Doing My Part. DMP is a non-profit organization in Charlotte that raises money, $3 at a time, to give back to the community. (Please consider going to doingmypart.com and signing up for a monthly $3 donation) Here’s how it works: DMP collects $3 donations until they get to $1500. Once the pot hits $1500, that money is donated to a project and the ticker immediately starts over to collect money for the next project. DMP is very new, as we just completed our first project on August 11. And let me tell you, it was an awesome project.
DMP teamed up with Samaritan’s Feet to give shoes, socks, and book bags with basic school supplies to homeless children in Charlotte. We went to the women and children’s homeless shelter where we washed their feet, gave them a brand new pair of shoes and socks, and then sent them on their way with some new school supplies. It was a really awesome experience.
The cool thing about DMP is that you are a member of one organization, but you get to be involved in all kinds of things around the community. They are involved in helping the homeless, veteran assistance, cancer fundraising/support, and so on. They put a lot of effort into surveying the community, vetting organizations, and making sure their time and money is going to the most urgent needs.
Every other Sunday DMP’s Street Team teams up with Serve Charlotte’s Homeless to comb the streets of Uptown for homeless people, handing out food and toiletries. I have only had the opportunity to participate in this once, but I can’t recommend it enough. It’s really an eye opening experience that can change your outlook if you let it. If you’re interested in being a member of the Doing My Part Street Team or just donating $3 a month to be one of our heroes, let me know and I’ll point you in the right direction! If they can get 10,000 heroes we can do one project a month. Imagine how many people we could help!
Something else I participated in recently was Habitat for Humanity. I know everyone is familiar with this one and it’s actually kind of challenging to volunteer for them without being part of an organization that makes a donation to the build. This is the second time I have had the opportunity to work with Habitat and both experiences were incredibly different. But what’s cool about Habitat is that you’re working on a house side by side with the family that’s going to own it when it’s completed. That alone is enough to inspire me to want to help out people in different ways. There are so many organizations in every community that are in place to assist those less fortunate. The hardest part about helping out is deciding which one you want to donate your time to.
Just today I signed up, for the second year, to volunteer as a staff member for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in October. This experience is always cool because there are so many survivors who are so excited to be there. My mom is currently battling stage 4 breast cancer so this event is very close to my heart and always an uplifting experience. Organizations like this have a lot of paid help so my job isn’t always significant in task, but the most important part of volunteering for an organization like this is being a cheerleader. You have no idea how much the participants, the survivors, and the fighters appreciate it. That’s enough to make it worth my time.
I challenge you to find a cause that’s important to you and support the shit out of it. There are various causes that are close to my heart for various reasons and I can’t afford to donate money to all of them, but sometimes my time is more valuable. Decide what you can afford to do and take action. Your community needs you!
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Ghandi
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Drumroll Please....
Remember when I said I had exciting news that I couldn’t share right away? Well, guess what! I’m still not pregnant. Whew. Thank goodness for that. But, in order for you to find my news as exciting as I do you’ll need to know what I went through to get there.
When I went back to school I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do with the Finance degree I was pursuing. The more I learned and talked to people who were in the business, I learned that I was really interested in Investment Banking (from here on out referred to as IB). I was told numerous times by everyone I talked to that IB was super competitive and a degree from my “non-ivy league” university was not going to cut it. Since my university was pretty much my only option at the time I decided to strive for a 4.0 to give me a leg up. Mission accomplished (the 4.0, not the leg up).
I applied to a hundred jobs and made connections at every big bank I could find. Everyone told me the same thing… my university wasn’t prestigious enough to land me a job in IB. Well crap.
When I graduated I asked my favorite professor (who happened to be a prominent market consultant in the community) if he had any ideas how to get into IB. He gave me a few names and wished me well.
Fast forward two months and 100 more job applications, I FINALLY got a call back from one of my professor’s contacts. She happened to be a recruiting VP for a well-known leadership program at a big bank. Open door, insert foot. Yes! I interviewed with her and found out soon after that they wanted me back for a second interview. Turns out this was a big deal, out of 2500+ applicants/interviews, only about 300 get called back for a second interview. Go me!
Side note for informational purposes: The program I was trying to get into is a leadership program where you spend the first 10 months of employment in training. They teach you all about the bank and give you detailed knowledge and training for the area of the bank that you will be working in. Also, since it’s a leadership program, they monitor your career and make sure you are progressing nicely. After the program you are a regular employee just like everyone else, just one that gets special treatment because you’re special. It comes with a lot of perks. This training program is kind of like school with “majors” depending on the career field you want to pursue. Each January and July the program accepts about 50 people. Capital Markets (i.e. Investment Banking) only has 3 slots. Yikes.
Back to my story…
At the end of the second interview they ask you to name your top 3 choices for “major”. When they called to offer me a position in the program they gave me my third choice. Now, I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (an expression that I’ve never understood, but I’m pretty sure it applies here), but I was a little disappointed. Capital Markets is so competitive that I felt like this was my last hope for getting into IB. When they offered me the position they mentioned how well I interviewed and how impressed they were. I saw this as an opportunity to ask questions… why not Capital Markets? You’ll never guess what he said. No really, guess.
Of course he said what everyone else said. Most of the candidates for that major come from a more prestigious university and have had an internship on the street (wall street, that is). Damnitt man! After talking for a while he decided he liked my gumption and offered to talk to some people to see what he could land me another interview with the Capital Markets guys. He ended up talking to three or four different people about me. I interviewed with three of them. Talk about exhausting.
After all was said and done, I did it. I finally convinced them that despite the institution that awarded my degree, despite my lack of internship, and despite my lack of experience in anything IB related, that I can do this job.
I GOT IT! Beginning in January of 2013, I will officially be working in Capital Markets, one of the most competitive industries on the job market.
I’m pretty sure my cute smile and stellar personality only had a little bit to do with it.
When I went back to school I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do with the Finance degree I was pursuing. The more I learned and talked to people who were in the business, I learned that I was really interested in Investment Banking (from here on out referred to as IB). I was told numerous times by everyone I talked to that IB was super competitive and a degree from my “non-ivy league” university was not going to cut it. Since my university was pretty much my only option at the time I decided to strive for a 4.0 to give me a leg up. Mission accomplished (the 4.0, not the leg up).
I applied to a hundred jobs and made connections at every big bank I could find. Everyone told me the same thing… my university wasn’t prestigious enough to land me a job in IB. Well crap.
When I graduated I asked my favorite professor (who happened to be a prominent market consultant in the community) if he had any ideas how to get into IB. He gave me a few names and wished me well.
Fast forward two months and 100 more job applications, I FINALLY got a call back from one of my professor’s contacts. She happened to be a recruiting VP for a well-known leadership program at a big bank. Open door, insert foot. Yes! I interviewed with her and found out soon after that they wanted me back for a second interview. Turns out this was a big deal, out of 2500+ applicants/interviews, only about 300 get called back for a second interview. Go me!
Side note for informational purposes: The program I was trying to get into is a leadership program where you spend the first 10 months of employment in training. They teach you all about the bank and give you detailed knowledge and training for the area of the bank that you will be working in. Also, since it’s a leadership program, they monitor your career and make sure you are progressing nicely. After the program you are a regular employee just like everyone else, just one that gets special treatment because you’re special. It comes with a lot of perks. This training program is kind of like school with “majors” depending on the career field you want to pursue. Each January and July the program accepts about 50 people. Capital Markets (i.e. Investment Banking) only has 3 slots. Yikes.
Back to my story…
At the end of the second interview they ask you to name your top 3 choices for “major”. When they called to offer me a position in the program they gave me my third choice. Now, I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (an expression that I’ve never understood, but I’m pretty sure it applies here), but I was a little disappointed. Capital Markets is so competitive that I felt like this was my last hope for getting into IB. When they offered me the position they mentioned how well I interviewed and how impressed they were. I saw this as an opportunity to ask questions… why not Capital Markets? You’ll never guess what he said. No really, guess.
Of course he said what everyone else said. Most of the candidates for that major come from a more prestigious university and have had an internship on the street (wall street, that is). Damnitt man! After talking for a while he decided he liked my gumption and offered to talk to some people to see what he could land me another interview with the Capital Markets guys. He ended up talking to three or four different people about me. I interviewed with three of them. Talk about exhausting.
After all was said and done, I did it. I finally convinced them that despite the institution that awarded my degree, despite my lack of internship, and despite my lack of experience in anything IB related, that I can do this job.
I GOT IT! Beginning in January of 2013, I will officially be working in Capital Markets, one of the most competitive industries on the job market.
I’m pretty sure my cute smile and stellar personality only had a little bit to do with it.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Life as I Know It
Hey. Remember me? I used to write this very honest blog that half of you found funny and the other half found offensive. Life got a little crazy for a while and then I took a really awesome vacation. But, I’m back. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things so I’m going to go ahead and get my brain dump out of the way. It’s my favorite kind of post to write.
Things have been going really well in my life lately. Like…really well to point that I am almost terrified on a daily basis for the bad news that’s going to bring it all crashing to the ground. I’m actually not sure if things are better than usual or if bad things are happening to so many people around me that my problems seem insignificant in comparison. Maybe I’m just more in tune with my surroundings because my job is so boring… Either way, I really hope things keep going this way because it’s very refreshing.
I feel like I’ve grown up a little this year. I’m actually starting to feel like an adult. Not because I’m more mature (lets be real here, you’ve read my blog), but I think it’s because I’m not in school anymore. I became a student about two months after I became a wife so it was a very confusing time for me. Now that I’m a college graduate, with a job, and a husband, and (*gasp*) I am in my late 20’s, and I actually clean my house and cook dinner on a regular basis things seem different. I’ve grown up before my own eyes. It’s weird.
Remember when I said I was going to give up junk food for 40 days? Because if the Catholics can do it then so can I? I would be a terrible Catholic. I only lasted 4 days. And then I spiraled out of control. I’ve been eating whatever I want, whenever I want, for like a month. It’s not working out well for me. I am slowly crawling back onto my healthy wagon. It’s just not nearly as fun as the gluttony wagon.
I used to have a super private cubicle in a corner where no one could walk by and I always had warning if someone was coming in. Well…my group was relocated a couple weeks ago as a result of a company merger. FML. My new cube is on a main highway and the end of a row so EVERY ONE has to walk by my desk 35 times a day. And, bonus, there is a busy printer right outside my door. Someone please tell me how I am supposed to play on my phone and read blogs on my computer all day with all these people watching. GAH!!
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships; Old ones, new ones, estranged ones (unfortunately), and ones that just don’t get enough attention. Isn’t it sad the way people lose touch? Some of my best friends from high school live so close, yet I haven’t seen them in years. I miss them. My very best guy friend lives 30 minutes away, yet I haven’t seen him in over 2 years and only talk to him through our ‘words with friends’ games. I know he has probably replaced me in his life, understandably, but it makes me so sad because we had the best times together. Some of my best memories are with someone that I’m not even friends with anymore and I can’t even fully explain why. I just know it’s irreparable. Oh life, why must you be so depressing at times? Thank goodness the friendships that are fully intact and well nurtured are so awesome.
If you know anything about me then you know that I LOVE Taylor Swift. I am super obsessed. I’ve actually gotten mad at people for saying bad things about her. So what I’m about to say might shock you…. I think her new song kind of sucks. I mean that in the nicest way possible. Not only is it not country (may I remind you she is a country artist), but it is also one of the most juvenile songs that she’s written. This is odd to me seeing as how she’s getting older and it’s been a couple of years since her last CD was released. I genuinely hope that this song is not a reflection of her new CD. This is not a bandwagon that I will willingly be jumping off of.
The DNC is coming to this great city of mine. I have come to the realization that it’s going to be a gigantic pain in my ass no matter how you look at it. I have options. I can stay in my uptown condo and walk to my uptown job, I can stay outside of the city and drive to my uptown job, or I can stay outside of the city and drive to a remote location to work. Obviously, staying home and walking to work would be ideal. However, the security in this city is going to be so absurd I would probably get sniped for walking down a sidewalk that was restricted to pedestrians. Not to mention the crowds. Add to that the fact that they are actually ticketing people for jaywalking (do you have any idea how long it takes to get somewhere if you actually wait for the lights to change??) and it will end up being one giant headache. They are even increasing security in my building so I would be ID’d every time I walked in the door. Plus, we are thinking about renting out or condo so staying there may not even be an option soon. The option to stay outside the city and drive to work in uptown is almost too complicated to talk about. They are closing so many streets that getting here would be a challenge in itself. Not to mention the parking rates are going to sky rocket so it ends up being a fairly expensive option. My third option is to stay outside of the city and drive to a remote location (one of the company owned plants) to sit in a conference room with the rest of my group for an entire week. One week…looking at my coworkers...listening to them banter. Go ahead and shoot me now because I would never get out alive. More first world problems.
I’m sorry this post wasn’t full of the sarcasm you’re probably accustomed to. Sometimes I have serious thoughts, too. It’s rare, but it happens.
Things have been going really well in my life lately. Like…really well to point that I am almost terrified on a daily basis for the bad news that’s going to bring it all crashing to the ground. I’m actually not sure if things are better than usual or if bad things are happening to so many people around me that my problems seem insignificant in comparison. Maybe I’m just more in tune with my surroundings because my job is so boring… Either way, I really hope things keep going this way because it’s very refreshing.
I feel like I’ve grown up a little this year. I’m actually starting to feel like an adult. Not because I’m more mature (lets be real here, you’ve read my blog), but I think it’s because I’m not in school anymore. I became a student about two months after I became a wife so it was a very confusing time for me. Now that I’m a college graduate, with a job, and a husband, and (*gasp*) I am in my late 20’s, and I actually clean my house and cook dinner on a regular basis things seem different. I’ve grown up before my own eyes. It’s weird.
Remember when I said I was going to give up junk food for 40 days? Because if the Catholics can do it then so can I? I would be a terrible Catholic. I only lasted 4 days. And then I spiraled out of control. I’ve been eating whatever I want, whenever I want, for like a month. It’s not working out well for me. I am slowly crawling back onto my healthy wagon. It’s just not nearly as fun as the gluttony wagon.
I used to have a super private cubicle in a corner where no one could walk by and I always had warning if someone was coming in. Well…my group was relocated a couple weeks ago as a result of a company merger. FML. My new cube is on a main highway and the end of a row so EVERY ONE has to walk by my desk 35 times a day. And, bonus, there is a busy printer right outside my door. Someone please tell me how I am supposed to play on my phone and read blogs on my computer all day with all these people watching. GAH!!
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships; Old ones, new ones, estranged ones (unfortunately), and ones that just don’t get enough attention. Isn’t it sad the way people lose touch? Some of my best friends from high school live so close, yet I haven’t seen them in years. I miss them. My very best guy friend lives 30 minutes away, yet I haven’t seen him in over 2 years and only talk to him through our ‘words with friends’ games. I know he has probably replaced me in his life, understandably, but it makes me so sad because we had the best times together. Some of my best memories are with someone that I’m not even friends with anymore and I can’t even fully explain why. I just know it’s irreparable. Oh life, why must you be so depressing at times? Thank goodness the friendships that are fully intact and well nurtured are so awesome.
If you know anything about me then you know that I LOVE Taylor Swift. I am super obsessed. I’ve actually gotten mad at people for saying bad things about her. So what I’m about to say might shock you…. I think her new song kind of sucks. I mean that in the nicest way possible. Not only is it not country (may I remind you she is a country artist), but it is also one of the most juvenile songs that she’s written. This is odd to me seeing as how she’s getting older and it’s been a couple of years since her last CD was released. I genuinely hope that this song is not a reflection of her new CD. This is not a bandwagon that I will willingly be jumping off of.
The DNC is coming to this great city of mine. I have come to the realization that it’s going to be a gigantic pain in my ass no matter how you look at it. I have options. I can stay in my uptown condo and walk to my uptown job, I can stay outside of the city and drive to my uptown job, or I can stay outside of the city and drive to a remote location to work. Obviously, staying home and walking to work would be ideal. However, the security in this city is going to be so absurd I would probably get sniped for walking down a sidewalk that was restricted to pedestrians. Not to mention the crowds. Add to that the fact that they are actually ticketing people for jaywalking (do you have any idea how long it takes to get somewhere if you actually wait for the lights to change??) and it will end up being one giant headache. They are even increasing security in my building so I would be ID’d every time I walked in the door. Plus, we are thinking about renting out or condo so staying there may not even be an option soon. The option to stay outside the city and drive to work in uptown is almost too complicated to talk about. They are closing so many streets that getting here would be a challenge in itself. Not to mention the parking rates are going to sky rocket so it ends up being a fairly expensive option. My third option is to stay outside of the city and drive to a remote location (one of the company owned plants) to sit in a conference room with the rest of my group for an entire week. One week…looking at my coworkers...listening to them banter. Go ahead and shoot me now because I would never get out alive. More first world problems.
I’m sorry this post wasn’t full of the sarcasm you’re probably accustomed to. Sometimes I have serious thoughts, too. It’s rare, but it happens.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Separation of Fan and Friend
I have a bone to pick with fellow Facebook users.
There are two types of Facebook pages you can create. You can create a personal page that you use to tell your “friends” the mundane details of your life, or you can create a business page that you use to promote whatever service or product you’re trying to sell to your “fans”.
A handful of my friends also have small business fan pages. In most cases, when the friend created the personal business page they asked all of their Facebook friends to become a fan by “liking” their page. In most cases I did because I’m a supportive friend. Now I find myself wondering why I wasted that very valuable thirty seconds of my life.
It annoys me to no end when you post some sort of advertisement on your small business page, and then turn around and immediately post the exact same thing on your personal page. If I can get the same annoying product/service pushing from your personal page, then what was the point of asking me to like your business page? You might argue that you want the friends that don’t “like” your business page to see what your advertisements. But you know what, if they never became a fan of your business page in the first place then I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say that they don’t care. This is a sure fire way to lose friends and fans.
There is another side to this, too. There are also small business pages that fail to realize that it’s a BUSINESS. I am a “fan” (using the term loosely because I’m not really a fan) of one particular page that is very popular. The girl has over 10,000 fans, which is actually pretty impressive for a small business. On this particular page, on almost a weekly basis, the girl uses her status update to air some dirty laundry drama. Sometimes its business related drama (which is still incredibly unprofessional to share), but sometimes it’s just her daily redneck drama. Every time it happens I have to stop myself from telling her what an immature, unprofessional, moron she is. I honestly can’t believe she has managed to hold onto so many fans. She’s one redneck rant away from losing me.
So to recap, if you have two separate Facebook pages, please use them as such and stop flooding my feed with repeat nonsense. If you only have one page, please try to remember which type it is and use it appropriately. Nobody likes an unprofessional business owner.
There are two types of Facebook pages you can create. You can create a personal page that you use to tell your “friends” the mundane details of your life, or you can create a business page that you use to promote whatever service or product you’re trying to sell to your “fans”.
A handful of my friends also have small business fan pages. In most cases, when the friend created the personal business page they asked all of their Facebook friends to become a fan by “liking” their page. In most cases I did because I’m a supportive friend. Now I find myself wondering why I wasted that very valuable thirty seconds of my life.
It annoys me to no end when you post some sort of advertisement on your small business page, and then turn around and immediately post the exact same thing on your personal page. If I can get the same annoying product/service pushing from your personal page, then what was the point of asking me to like your business page? You might argue that you want the friends that don’t “like” your business page to see what your advertisements. But you know what, if they never became a fan of your business page in the first place then I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say that they don’t care. This is a sure fire way to lose friends and fans.
There is another side to this, too. There are also small business pages that fail to realize that it’s a BUSINESS. I am a “fan” (using the term loosely because I’m not really a fan) of one particular page that is very popular. The girl has over 10,000 fans, which is actually pretty impressive for a small business. On this particular page, on almost a weekly basis, the girl uses her status update to air some dirty laundry drama. Sometimes its business related drama (which is still incredibly unprofessional to share), but sometimes it’s just her daily redneck drama. Every time it happens I have to stop myself from telling her what an immature, unprofessional, moron she is. I honestly can’t believe she has managed to hold onto so many fans. She’s one redneck rant away from losing me.
So to recap, if you have two separate Facebook pages, please use them as such and stop flooding my feed with repeat nonsense. If you only have one page, please try to remember which type it is and use it appropriately. Nobody likes an unprofessional business owner.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Puppy Love
Did you know that I love animals? I know a lot of people love animals and do their part to help them, but I seriously love animals so much that I can't even volunteer at an animal shelter because it literally breaks my heart into a million pieces to see their sad faces knowing that they might not make it to the next week alive. So much sadness.
Fun fact: My dream job is to be the CFO of an animal rescue organization such as the ASPCA. So help me, I would find the money to save every single creature I encounter!
I've been known to cry pretty much every time someone loses a pet, whether or not I know them or the pet, I just cry because it's sad to know the heartache they must be feeling.
Short story: One time my sister was telling me about how her husband killed some ants. They were on a log so he set it in a fire and got it really hot so they had to jump off. But when they did they landed in the fire and died. I cried. I didn't cry because he killed the ants, ants are little devils and I kill them when necessary. It was just really cruel to torture them when they couldn't defend themselves.
I actually don't even consider ants an animal. They aren't, they're insects. But the thing that makes me feel so much compassion for animals is their inability to defend or speak for themselves in most situations. So that's why the ant story made me sad.
I have two cats myself. Batman and Captain Morgan. They are pretty much the quirkiest cats I've ever encountered and I never get bored with them. It will be a rough time for me when my fur babies pass away.
Last week, in Ireland, the city council put a dog to sleep because it was a "pit-bull terrier type". The dog had never been in any kind of trouble or anything, someone just saw it, thought it looked like a pit bull (which is illegal in Ireland) so they took it away from the owners. I've heard that DNA tests showed ZERO signs of pit bull heritage. None. Turns out it was an American bulldog-Labrador mix. So anyways, the owners started a campaign, gained worldwide attention and support to save the dog, and the city council says its too dangerous. A human rights activist flew to Ireland and offered to bring the dog back to the United States at NO COST to the city council. They declined and killed the dog anyways.
Reading about this puppy outraged me in ways I cannot even explain. For starters, the dog was held by the city council for TWO YEARS before they finally put it to sleep. Can you imagine how it felt, all alone with no more love and attention from it's owners? It breaks my heart just to think about it. Secondly, the city council had the opportunity to get the dog out of the country, at no cost or inconvenience to them, and avoid the devastation all together. But for some reason those animal hating bastards still felt like it was a better choice to kill the dog. This, in my book, is the same thing as animal cruelty. Isn't that illegal?
I will never understand how a person cannot love animals. How often do you meet a person who loves you unconditionally, without judgement, 100% of the time?
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Fun fact: My dream job is to be the CFO of an animal rescue organization such as the ASPCA. So help me, I would find the money to save every single creature I encounter!
I've been known to cry pretty much every time someone loses a pet, whether or not I know them or the pet, I just cry because it's sad to know the heartache they must be feeling.
Short story: One time my sister was telling me about how her husband killed some ants. They were on a log so he set it in a fire and got it really hot so they had to jump off. But when they did they landed in the fire and died. I cried. I didn't cry because he killed the ants, ants are little devils and I kill them when necessary. It was just really cruel to torture them when they couldn't defend themselves.
I actually don't even consider ants an animal. They aren't, they're insects. But the thing that makes me feel so much compassion for animals is their inability to defend or speak for themselves in most situations. So that's why the ant story made me sad.
I have two cats myself. Batman and Captain Morgan. They are pretty much the quirkiest cats I've ever encountered and I never get bored with them. It will be a rough time for me when my fur babies pass away.
Last week, in Ireland, the city council put a dog to sleep because it was a "pit-bull terrier type". The dog had never been in any kind of trouble or anything, someone just saw it, thought it looked like a pit bull (which is illegal in Ireland) so they took it away from the owners. I've heard that DNA tests showed ZERO signs of pit bull heritage. None. Turns out it was an American bulldog-Labrador mix. So anyways, the owners started a campaign, gained worldwide attention and support to save the dog, and the city council says its too dangerous. A human rights activist flew to Ireland and offered to bring the dog back to the United States at NO COST to the city council. They declined and killed the dog anyways.
Reading about this puppy outraged me in ways I cannot even explain. For starters, the dog was held by the city council for TWO YEARS before they finally put it to sleep. Can you imagine how it felt, all alone with no more love and attention from it's owners? It breaks my heart just to think about it. Secondly, the city council had the opportunity to get the dog out of the country, at no cost or inconvenience to them, and avoid the devastation all together. But for some reason those animal hating bastards still felt like it was a better choice to kill the dog. This, in my book, is the same thing as animal cruelty. Isn't that illegal?
I will never understand how a person cannot love animals. How often do you meet a person who loves you unconditionally, without judgement, 100% of the time?
Friday, July 13, 2012
First World Problems (1st edition)
Being an adult is hard. I’m not talking about the obvious challenges of earning money, managing it, paying bills, etc. I’m just talking about being an adult with various relationships to juggle.
There are spouses, lovers (but hopefully not both, you little minx), family, children, friends, pets, daily responsibilities, and so on. Balancing all of these things is one of the most exhausting parts of my life. It would be nice if there was a manual for this sort of thing.
I always want to spend time with my husband. He’s my favorite person to be around and we have a lot of fun. But on top of that, quality time is very important for keeping our marriage strong and happy so there is also the necessary aspect of spending time together.
Then there is my family. I work with my sister so seeing/spending time with her is never really an issue. We talk basically all day every day. But the rest of my family, with the exception of my mom and step dad, lives 3-4 hours away. If they are in town I want to spend as much time as possible with them. Not to mention I would love, more than anything, to be able to make frequent trips to see them, but with all the other relationships I juggle, finding time is a challenge. In addition to my own family, I also have my husband’s family to think about. They are a very close knit family and I love hanging out with them so lots of time gets dedicated to them as well.
I have the greatest best friend. We always have so much fun together when we’re hanging out, regardless of what we’re doing. It makes me sad when we go long stretches of time without seeing each other. But in addition to enjoying her company, sometimes she needs my company. She’s had a rough year and sometimes dinner with her BFF to vent or just sit in a mutually understood silence is what she needs to make her feel better. Being there for a friend is always a top priority for me.
Of course, I have other friends, too. Shocker, I know. So there is the occasional dinner, fitness class, or whatever with them, too.
I don’t mean for this to sound like an “oh, I’m so popular I don’t have time for all my friends” groan. Sadly, that is not the case. I can probably count my good friends on one hand. The problem is that on top of balancing these very important relationships, I also have to balance the necessary parts of my life. You know 40hr/wk. job, housework, grocery shopping, volunteering, exercising, etc.
I seem to give myself so much to all these relationships that not only do I always feel like I’m neglecting someone or something, I AM always neglecting myself. When is there time to be selfish?
I don’t mean for this to sound like I am whining about “having” to spend time with various people. These are all relationships that I want to have, to nurture, and to grow! I love the people in my life and I love hanging out with them. All I’m saying is that being a good wife, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend is hard. Lord help me when it’s time to add mother to that list.
But… I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
There are spouses, lovers (but hopefully not both, you little minx), family, children, friends, pets, daily responsibilities, and so on. Balancing all of these things is one of the most exhausting parts of my life. It would be nice if there was a manual for this sort of thing.
I always want to spend time with my husband. He’s my favorite person to be around and we have a lot of fun. But on top of that, quality time is very important for keeping our marriage strong and happy so there is also the necessary aspect of spending time together.
Then there is my family. I work with my sister so seeing/spending time with her is never really an issue. We talk basically all day every day. But the rest of my family, with the exception of my mom and step dad, lives 3-4 hours away. If they are in town I want to spend as much time as possible with them. Not to mention I would love, more than anything, to be able to make frequent trips to see them, but with all the other relationships I juggle, finding time is a challenge. In addition to my own family, I also have my husband’s family to think about. They are a very close knit family and I love hanging out with them so lots of time gets dedicated to them as well.
I have the greatest best friend. We always have so much fun together when we’re hanging out, regardless of what we’re doing. It makes me sad when we go long stretches of time without seeing each other. But in addition to enjoying her company, sometimes she needs my company. She’s had a rough year and sometimes dinner with her BFF to vent or just sit in a mutually understood silence is what she needs to make her feel better. Being there for a friend is always a top priority for me.
Of course, I have other friends, too. Shocker, I know. So there is the occasional dinner, fitness class, or whatever with them, too.
I don’t mean for this to sound like an “oh, I’m so popular I don’t have time for all my friends” groan. Sadly, that is not the case. I can probably count my good friends on one hand. The problem is that on top of balancing these very important relationships, I also have to balance the necessary parts of my life. You know 40hr/wk. job, housework, grocery shopping, volunteering, exercising, etc.
I seem to give myself so much to all these relationships that not only do I always feel like I’m neglecting someone or something, I AM always neglecting myself. When is there time to be selfish?
I don’t mean for this to sound like I am whining about “having” to spend time with various people. These are all relationships that I want to have, to nurture, and to grow! I love the people in my life and I love hanging out with them. All I’m saying is that being a good wife, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend is hard. Lord help me when it’s time to add mother to that list.
But… I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Why you gotta be so mean?
Usually when there are long lapses in time between blog posts it’s because I don’t think I can focus to write anything readable. But, I’m realizing that if I just start typing the thoughts will tumble out. Funny how that works. So excuse me while these thoughts tumble out.
I wish I could write about other people’s lives. I mean, I can, but eventually they would stop telling me things and I’m not trying to lose friends. I never thought that my own life was interesting enough to blog about and so it was never my intention to spend much time writing about my mundane daily routine. However, some of the conversations I have with my friends would make for very entertaining blog material. Unfortunately, that would require putting someone else’s business out there and I would never do that. So I digress.
I do have a point to make in this post. (Surprise!)
Anyone who knows me knows that I am, without a shadow of a doubt, sarcastic and sometimes quick-witted. Being the youngest child in a brutally honest family will do that to you. I actually kind of like that about myself. So naturally, my blog posts are chock full of sarcasm. Actually, everything that comes out of my mouth is chock full of sarcasm, but you get my point.
With that being said, I am what you perceive me to be. If you perceive my sarcasm as mean, then I am a bitch. If you perceive it as funny, then I am a comedian. If you perceive it as sarcastic, then I am a smart ass. If you perceive it as dorky, well, you get the picture.
I get to share my views on the world because I choose to write them down and you choose to read them. The things I say are never said maliciously and it’s never my intent to offend anyone, but if the shoe fits…. You know what they say about opinion anyways.
You can’t please everyone.
I wish I could write about other people’s lives. I mean, I can, but eventually they would stop telling me things and I’m not trying to lose friends. I never thought that my own life was interesting enough to blog about and so it was never my intention to spend much time writing about my mundane daily routine. However, some of the conversations I have with my friends would make for very entertaining blog material. Unfortunately, that would require putting someone else’s business out there and I would never do that. So I digress.
I do have a point to make in this post. (Surprise!)
Anyone who knows me knows that I am, without a shadow of a doubt, sarcastic and sometimes quick-witted. Being the youngest child in a brutally honest family will do that to you. I actually kind of like that about myself. So naturally, my blog posts are chock full of sarcasm. Actually, everything that comes out of my mouth is chock full of sarcasm, but you get my point.
With that being said, I am what you perceive me to be. If you perceive my sarcasm as mean, then I am a bitch. If you perceive it as funny, then I am a comedian. If you perceive it as sarcastic, then I am a smart ass. If you perceive it as dorky, well, you get the picture.
I get to share my views on the world because I choose to write them down and you choose to read them. The things I say are never said maliciously and it’s never my intent to offend anyone, but if the shoe fits…. You know what they say about opinion anyways.
You can’t please everyone.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Put that in your pipe and smoke it
In an effort to open Microsoft Word to write this post, I opened my email no less than four times before I realized I was opening the wrong program. I just thought I would share that with you so you know where my head is at.
Moving on, I have determined that a weekly stream of consciousness post is going to be a necessity. There is just so much floating around in the dome piece that if I don’t get it out then I can’t focus long enough to write a real blog post. Case in point, it took me 5 tries and 4 open copies of my email just to open a word document.
So without further adieu…
Midweek holidays are just not fun. They sound fun in theory. Hey, let’s all just take Wednesday off of work! But how much fun can you have when you have to go to work the next morning? Have you ever tried to have a good time on a Sunday night? Plus, it gives the week two Mondays. And let’s be honest here, nobody likes Mondays.
On that note, because it’s a holiday week, 90%+ of management is on vacation. Because you know, they get like 14 weeks a year. Well, we minions still have to work. But it would appear that no one cares. The cafeteria and convenience store in my building have limited hours, the vending machines are bare, and the water coolers are all empty… I am somebody, too, damnitt!!
Remember how I said I couldn’t cook? I made dinner the other night for the first time in….it’s been a long time. I only set off the smoke detector three times, so that’s a success!
I’m still offering up my quality time in exchange for cooking lessons.
My husband did the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me the other day. I’m not going to tell you what it is because it’s none of your business (boundaries people!) but I just wanted to share because it’s so good to know that I am married to such an amazing person. I sure do love him. And on that note, I think everyone should think of something super sweet and original to do for their significant other. Let’s start a movement!
Speaking of movement, does anyone want to be part of my flash mob? I know a former Top Cat and current Lady Cat (professional cheerleader/dancers for those of you not familiar with Charlotte’s sports teams). I would totally ask them to choreograph. I’m thinking it should be done in the middle of the next big city event. Ooohh, like the DNC! Wouldn’t that be hilarious? I wonder if Obama would be game.
I have decided to give up junk food for 40 days. I know what you’re thinking, lent was like three months ago! I really just chose 40 days because I thought hey, if they can do it so can I (“they” being Catholics, which I am not). It began first thing this morning, so no junk food for me until August 13th. If you see me with a milkshake, please feel free to tackle me. I don’t have a really substantial reason for giving up junk food. I have just gotten carried away with it more than I am comfortable with lately. Like really, it makes my stomach hurt. I have been slowly climbing back on the workout wagon so I figured I might as well do all of my suffering at once.
I refuse to go see Magic Mike. I’m a little torn about this because every female I know has seen it at this point. But here’s the thing, Channing Tatum, good looking as he may be, is the WORST ACTOR ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET. How is this guy getting so many movie deals? He single handedly ruined “The Vow” and I will never again pay to see one of his movies. I’m standing my ground on this one.
Now that I have gotten all this off my chest, I’m off to write asomething a little more focused. But just a little.
Moving on, I have determined that a weekly stream of consciousness post is going to be a necessity. There is just so much floating around in the dome piece that if I don’t get it out then I can’t focus long enough to write a real blog post. Case in point, it took me 5 tries and 4 open copies of my email just to open a word document.
So without further adieu…
Midweek holidays are just not fun. They sound fun in theory. Hey, let’s all just take Wednesday off of work! But how much fun can you have when you have to go to work the next morning? Have you ever tried to have a good time on a Sunday night? Plus, it gives the week two Mondays. And let’s be honest here, nobody likes Mondays.
On that note, because it’s a holiday week, 90%+ of management is on vacation. Because you know, they get like 14 weeks a year. Well, we minions still have to work. But it would appear that no one cares. The cafeteria and convenience store in my building have limited hours, the vending machines are bare, and the water coolers are all empty… I am somebody, too, damnitt!!
Remember how I said I couldn’t cook? I made dinner the other night for the first time in….it’s been a long time. I only set off the smoke detector three times, so that’s a success!
I’m still offering up my quality time in exchange for cooking lessons.
My husband did the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me the other day. I’m not going to tell you what it is because it’s none of your business (boundaries people!) but I just wanted to share because it’s so good to know that I am married to such an amazing person. I sure do love him. And on that note, I think everyone should think of something super sweet and original to do for their significant other. Let’s start a movement!
Speaking of movement, does anyone want to be part of my flash mob? I know a former Top Cat and current Lady Cat (professional cheerleader/dancers for those of you not familiar with Charlotte’s sports teams). I would totally ask them to choreograph. I’m thinking it should be done in the middle of the next big city event. Ooohh, like the DNC! Wouldn’t that be hilarious? I wonder if Obama would be game.
I have decided to give up junk food for 40 days. I know what you’re thinking, lent was like three months ago! I really just chose 40 days because I thought hey, if they can do it so can I (“they” being Catholics, which I am not). It began first thing this morning, so no junk food for me until August 13th. If you see me with a milkshake, please feel free to tackle me. I don’t have a really substantial reason for giving up junk food. I have just gotten carried away with it more than I am comfortable with lately. Like really, it makes my stomach hurt. I have been slowly climbing back on the workout wagon so I figured I might as well do all of my suffering at once.
I refuse to go see Magic Mike. I’m a little torn about this because every female I know has seen it at this point. But here’s the thing, Channing Tatum, good looking as he may be, is the WORST ACTOR ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET. How is this guy getting so many movie deals? He single handedly ruined “The Vow” and I will never again pay to see one of his movies. I’m standing my ground on this one.
Now that I have gotten all this off my chest, I’m off to write asomething a little more focused. But just a little.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Things you say that make me think you're a complete moron
Lately it seems like the people that surround me have gotten dumber. I know I graduated Summa Cum Laude and everything, but I have a pretty high tolerance for stupidity.
That’s a lie. I was just trying to be humble. Stupid people make me cringe.
So, here I give you list of the things I hear on a daily basis that people say incorrectly.
“It’s a mute point”: You mean the point you’re trying to make can’t speak? I believe you meant to say “moot” point. I have a coworker (who shall remain nameless because I’d like to keep my job) who says something is “mute” almost every time we talk. Does anyone have a witty comeback for that?
“All intensive purposes”: This makes me laugh just thinking about it. I read this hilarious blog called Ring Finger Tan Line (check it out, but don’t leave me!). A few months ago this guy that she blogged about tried to retaliate in the comments section. When she wouldn’t approve the comment he pitched a fit via email so she dedicated an entire post to his rant. It was funny. But what really made me laugh is that he was trying to be a bad ass and put her in her place, but then he says that something is “for all intensive purposes”….aaannndd there goes your credibility. In case you didn’t know, it’s “all intents and purposes”.
“Supposively”: I don’t think I need to elaborate on why this makes you sound like a moron. Surely you don’t think that’s a real word, right? (This one comes from my mute coworker) Also commonly mispronounced as “supposably”.
“Irregardless”: Do you know what this word means? Here, I’ll wait while you look it……
What’s that? You couldn’t find it? Oh, that must be because IT’S NOT A WORD! It’s just “Regardless”…how did it become such a common imaginary word?
“Azackly”: I am probably the only one that hears this one regularly (except my sister). This one comes from a coworker who can’t seem to say “exactly” properly, yet it’s their favorite way to acknowledge that they are listening (azackly, azackly). It’s rather entertaining.
“I could care less”: I always chuckle when I hear this because the person saying it is usually mad about something but trying to pretend like they don’t give a rat’s ass. They MEAN that they “couldn’t care less”, but we both know that they could, why else are we talking about it?
And the thing that really makes me want to stop talking to you altogether…
When you ask a question using the word “is” when you should use the word “are”. For example:
“Is you going to lunch with us?”
“Is there any dogs in the yard?”
It sounds so ignorant that I can’t even believe that people don’t realize it’s wrong.
What do the stupid people in your life say incorrectly?
That’s a lie. I was just trying to be humble. Stupid people make me cringe.
So, here I give you list of the things I hear on a daily basis that people say incorrectly.
“It’s a mute point”: You mean the point you’re trying to make can’t speak? I believe you meant to say “moot” point. I have a coworker (who shall remain nameless because I’d like to keep my job) who says something is “mute” almost every time we talk. Does anyone have a witty comeback for that?
“All intensive purposes”: This makes me laugh just thinking about it. I read this hilarious blog called Ring Finger Tan Line (check it out, but don’t leave me!). A few months ago this guy that she blogged about tried to retaliate in the comments section. When she wouldn’t approve the comment he pitched a fit via email so she dedicated an entire post to his rant. It was funny. But what really made me laugh is that he was trying to be a bad ass and put her in her place, but then he says that something is “for all intensive purposes”….aaannndd there goes your credibility. In case you didn’t know, it’s “all intents and purposes”.
“Supposively”: I don’t think I need to elaborate on why this makes you sound like a moron. Surely you don’t think that’s a real word, right? (This one comes from my mute coworker) Also commonly mispronounced as “supposably”.
“Irregardless”: Do you know what this word means? Here, I’ll wait while you look it……
What’s that? You couldn’t find it? Oh, that must be because IT’S NOT A WORD! It’s just “Regardless”…how did it become such a common imaginary word?
“Azackly”: I am probably the only one that hears this one regularly (except my sister). This one comes from a coworker who can’t seem to say “exactly” properly, yet it’s their favorite way to acknowledge that they are listening (azackly, azackly). It’s rather entertaining.
“I could care less”: I always chuckle when I hear this because the person saying it is usually mad about something but trying to pretend like they don’t give a rat’s ass. They MEAN that they “couldn’t care less”, but we both know that they could, why else are we talking about it?
And the thing that really makes me want to stop talking to you altogether…
When you ask a question using the word “is” when you should use the word “are”. For example:
“Is you going to lunch with us?”
“Is there any dogs in the yard?”
It sounds so ignorant that I can’t even believe that people don’t realize it’s wrong.
What do the stupid people in your life say incorrectly?
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Love in the Fast Lane
For the first time in the show's ten years, I began watching the bachelorette this season. I took an interest in the show because it was filmed, partly, in Charlotte and the bachelorette herself is from Charlotte. I went into the first episode knowing that it was cheesy reality TV with lots of drama and flair for the sake of production. I was surprised at how quickly I got sucked into their evil mind games. After that first episode I found myself wishing I was Emily's BFF and rooting for her to find the perfect man she was so adamantly looking for.
But let's get real here.
On the previews for next week's episode, where there are only three lucky bachelors left, you see Emily crying about how hard it is because she's falling in love with more than one person.
DUH.
How could you NOT feel like you're falling for all these guys in this scenario? ABC hands you a gaggle of good looking, charming, successful men who are all bringing their A game to compete for your love and attention and then they fly you around the world to the most exotic and romatic places they could find while you get to know each other. It's kind of hard to get to know the real someone that you're with when everything is perfect.
I believe that its possible to fall in love with someone and know that you want to spend the rest of your life with them in 6 weeks. I believe this because that's about how long it took me to know that I wanted marry my husband. But how can you possibly even think you know that when you've never been put to the test? If you sent me to Barbados for a week and planned out/paid for several perfect dates then I would probably develop strong love-like feelings for the person I was with, too. But put me in a situation where me and that person have to make life-changing decisions, or raise a child, or even decide where we want to go on our date that evening, and we may very well endup hating each others guts.
If ABC really wanted these two people to fall in love and last forever, then the romantic dates would be combined with everyday things like grocery shopping, babysitting, budgeting, and yard work. Because those are the little stresses in life that ultimately determine whether or not two people can stand to be around each other for the rest of their lives.
But let's get real here.
On the previews for next week's episode, where there are only three lucky bachelors left, you see Emily crying about how hard it is because she's falling in love with more than one person.
DUH.
How could you NOT feel like you're falling for all these guys in this scenario? ABC hands you a gaggle of good looking, charming, successful men who are all bringing their A game to compete for your love and attention and then they fly you around the world to the most exotic and romatic places they could find while you get to know each other. It's kind of hard to get to know the real someone that you're with when everything is perfect.
I believe that its possible to fall in love with someone and know that you want to spend the rest of your life with them in 6 weeks. I believe this because that's about how long it took me to know that I wanted marry my husband. But how can you possibly even think you know that when you've never been put to the test? If you sent me to Barbados for a week and planned out/paid for several perfect dates then I would probably develop strong love-like feelings for the person I was with, too. But put me in a situation where me and that person have to make life-changing decisions, or raise a child, or even decide where we want to go on our date that evening, and we may very well endup hating each others guts.
If ABC really wanted these two people to fall in love and last forever, then the romantic dates would be combined with everyday things like grocery shopping, babysitting, budgeting, and yard work. Because those are the little stresses in life that ultimately determine whether or not two people can stand to be around each other for the rest of their lives.
Get it together ABC.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
My Brain Runneth Over
Opinions are like assholes…
… Everybody has one and they always stink.
If yours doesn’t stink then we should be friends because I want to know your secret!
That’s the beauty of this little blog of mine. I can give you my opinion and I don’t have to hear yours!! I kid I kid. Feel free to leave your opinion in the comments; I like to consider myself a pretty open-minded person. You might not change my mind, but I will respect that we see things differently. But guess what? This particular post is not about my opinion on a specific worldly topic. You see, that was never my intention when I started bogging. It just kind of worked out that I had some very strong opinions I needed to get off my chest. Don’t worry; I’ve got plenty more, just not today. Today is all about stream of consciousness because none of the things on my mind constitute their own dedicated post.
I don’t know how to iron. In fact, I don’t even own an iron. I used to, but I didn’t know how to use it so I gave it to good will. Obviously, I know how an iron works. But any efforts I’ve ever made to iron a shirt have made it look worse than it was when I started. I have even gone so far as to drive to my mom’s house 45 minutes away to have her iron a shirt for my husband. Is there a support group for this?
I also don’t know how to cook. Again, I know HOW to cook, but I’m really bad at it. Any time I try to “throw something together” it comes out really bland and plain. And following a recipe turns into a two hour ordeal. How do people just know what things will go good together? I accidentally watched an episode of Hell’s Kitchen the other day and I was very intrigued by their intuitive cooking decisions. Does anyone want to teach me how to cook? I am more than willing to accept free lessons in exchange for some quality time with yours truly.
I walk to and from work. Most afternoons I have my headphones on because I was listening to them at work and don’t want to take them off. But in the mornings I’m left with nothing but my thoughts. Is it weird that I hum my thoughts (in my head, of course) to the wedding march? Not “here comes the bride”, but the one that they play as the bride and groom exit the church. It’s unfortunate that I can’t insert a sound clip of how my thoughts sound to me. And it’s actually really annoying, but I can’t make it stop. For some reason, that tune is always in my head and my thoughts feel the need to follow the beat.
I love to sing. Like, really love to sing on a level where I wish I could do it professionally. There is only one teeny tiny problem. I’m terrible at it!! Sometimes (ok, all the time), when I’m in the car singing along to Carrie Underwood or Jennifer Nettles I will plug one ear so I can see what I sound like….it’s never good. American Idol had auditions in Charlotte a couple weeks ago. I seriously considered going in hopes that maybe I’m not as bad as I think I am. But who am I kidding, I’m tone deaf. I’ve often wondered if that’s something that can be fixed with voice lessons. Does anyone want to go to a karaoke bar with me?
I gave up caffeine again. I’m on day three and my head feels like it’s going to explode. I did not, however, give up diet coke. I still drink caffeine free diet coke because it feels so good when it touches the lips.
Sometimes when I’m around new people I act weird. And by weird I mean normal. Because I am a weird person with an inappropriate sense of humor, but when I’m around new people I am sometimes afraid to be myself for fear of making a bad impression. I’ve made a few new friends this year and it’s very likely that they don’t know the real me yet. In my head I know that I’m not really being myself, but when I try to force it I come off even weirder than I actually am. Is that some Freudian thing?
On that note, making friends as an adult is hard. There’s that awkward “should I give her my number?” thing and then the first time you hang out it’s like “oh my god, what are we going to talk about for an entire meal, we barely know each other!.” All I’m saying is thank goodness for Facebook. It allows sufficient means for stalking prior to a face to face meeting so we have something to talk about.
I’ve secretly wished I could dance for as long as I can remember. I’m not talking about nightclub dancing; I’ve got that taken care of. I’m talking about Britney Spears back-up, NFL football, flash mob dancing. I’m sure there’s a name for it but I don’t know what it is. I actually have a couple friends that dance professionally and I’m secretly jealous of them. Is 27 too late to start dancing?
Wouldn’t it be cool to be part of a flash mob? That’s something that I fully intend to do before I die. Maybe I’ll even organize it myself.
Thanks for sticking around to read my insignificant thoughts. You're a real trooper.
… Everybody has one and they always stink.
If yours doesn’t stink then we should be friends because I want to know your secret!
That’s the beauty of this little blog of mine. I can give you my opinion and I don’t have to hear yours!! I kid I kid. Feel free to leave your opinion in the comments; I like to consider myself a pretty open-minded person. You might not change my mind, but I will respect that we see things differently. But guess what? This particular post is not about my opinion on a specific worldly topic. You see, that was never my intention when I started bogging. It just kind of worked out that I had some very strong opinions I needed to get off my chest. Don’t worry; I’ve got plenty more, just not today. Today is all about stream of consciousness because none of the things on my mind constitute their own dedicated post.
I don’t know how to iron. In fact, I don’t even own an iron. I used to, but I didn’t know how to use it so I gave it to good will. Obviously, I know how an iron works. But any efforts I’ve ever made to iron a shirt have made it look worse than it was when I started. I have even gone so far as to drive to my mom’s house 45 minutes away to have her iron a shirt for my husband. Is there a support group for this?
I also don’t know how to cook. Again, I know HOW to cook, but I’m really bad at it. Any time I try to “throw something together” it comes out really bland and plain. And following a recipe turns into a two hour ordeal. How do people just know what things will go good together? I accidentally watched an episode of Hell’s Kitchen the other day and I was very intrigued by their intuitive cooking decisions. Does anyone want to teach me how to cook? I am more than willing to accept free lessons in exchange for some quality time with yours truly.
I walk to and from work. Most afternoons I have my headphones on because I was listening to them at work and don’t want to take them off. But in the mornings I’m left with nothing but my thoughts. Is it weird that I hum my thoughts (in my head, of course) to the wedding march? Not “here comes the bride”, but the one that they play as the bride and groom exit the church. It’s unfortunate that I can’t insert a sound clip of how my thoughts sound to me. And it’s actually really annoying, but I can’t make it stop. For some reason, that tune is always in my head and my thoughts feel the need to follow the beat.
I love to sing. Like, really love to sing on a level where I wish I could do it professionally. There is only one teeny tiny problem. I’m terrible at it!! Sometimes (ok, all the time), when I’m in the car singing along to Carrie Underwood or Jennifer Nettles I will plug one ear so I can see what I sound like….it’s never good. American Idol had auditions in Charlotte a couple weeks ago. I seriously considered going in hopes that maybe I’m not as bad as I think I am. But who am I kidding, I’m tone deaf. I’ve often wondered if that’s something that can be fixed with voice lessons. Does anyone want to go to a karaoke bar with me?
I gave up caffeine again. I’m on day three and my head feels like it’s going to explode. I did not, however, give up diet coke. I still drink caffeine free diet coke because it feels so good when it touches the lips.
Sometimes when I’m around new people I act weird. And by weird I mean normal. Because I am a weird person with an inappropriate sense of humor, but when I’m around new people I am sometimes afraid to be myself for fear of making a bad impression. I’ve made a few new friends this year and it’s very likely that they don’t know the real me yet. In my head I know that I’m not really being myself, but when I try to force it I come off even weirder than I actually am. Is that some Freudian thing?
On that note, making friends as an adult is hard. There’s that awkward “should I give her my number?” thing and then the first time you hang out it’s like “oh my god, what are we going to talk about for an entire meal, we barely know each other!.” All I’m saying is thank goodness for Facebook. It allows sufficient means for stalking prior to a face to face meeting so we have something to talk about.
I’ve secretly wished I could dance for as long as I can remember. I’m not talking about nightclub dancing; I’ve got that taken care of. I’m talking about Britney Spears back-up, NFL football, flash mob dancing. I’m sure there’s a name for it but I don’t know what it is. I actually have a couple friends that dance professionally and I’m secretly jealous of them. Is 27 too late to start dancing?
Wouldn’t it be cool to be part of a flash mob? That’s something that I fully intend to do before I die. Maybe I’ll even organize it myself.
Thanks for sticking around to read my insignificant thoughts. You're a real trooper.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
In the Ditch of Life
I’ve been thinking about a lot of things that I wanted to write about lately. There is one super big thing that I am so excited to gush about, but alas, I must wait. (I AM NOT PREGNANT. As soon as I typed that I realized that was the first thing everyone would assume). Anyways, the reason I haven’t blogged lately is because I’m in a rut. A deep, funky, bad mood inducing, life altering rut.
You see, at the beginning of March I went on a health kick. I was eating healthy, I’d given up caffeine, I worked out almost every day for 1-2 hours, and I was on top of my shit. (shit = laundry, chores, bills, work stuff, friend stuff…life in general) Not only was it a piece of cake for me to turn down junk food (get it?), but I didn’t even really crave it all that often. I was so healthy I didn’t even want to be unhealthy! I got motivated to do all that stuff on my own, but shortly after I started working out my siblings and I started having these fitness challenges. And there is nothing like a little healthy sibling rivalry to get your juices flowing, am I right? I was feeling pretty damn good about myself.
Fast forward to June 2, the day our last fitness challenge ended. I didn’t win, my sister in law is a beast on the treadmill, but that didn’t bother me. What bothers me is that the day the challenge ended my motivation came to a screeching halt. That’s an understatement; my motivation went running full speed in the opposite direction and never looked back. And sadly, it wasn’t just my work out routine that suffered. My house is a mess, the laundry is out of control, phone calls need to be made, I haven’t been talking to my friends, my poor husband is probably tired of me lashing out at him, my car is due for inspection, bills need to be paid, groceries need to be bought, books need to be read/studied….and I am just not feeling it. And to make matters worse, I can’t stop eating junk food!! I am eating a “share size” bag of skittles as I write this post. I can’t remember the last time I ate a vegetable. Or a fruit for that matter. I went three months without eating a French fry and now it’s almost a daily occurrence. I am terrified to step on a scale to see how much weight I’ve gained. My clothes don’t fit differently yet, but I definitely feel like crap.
How do I get out of this rut? I’ve tried retail therapy. If you follow me on Instagram (jmelynng) then you’ve seen some of the super cute new clothes I’ve gotten (and on clearance!!), but retail therapy is not doing the trick. I went to yoga last Saturday and I really thought that those 75 minutes of calm strengthening would help….it didn’t. It just made my gluteus hurt for two days. I know that this battle is mental. I tell myself everyday “self, you’re going to go home and eat a healthy lunch while you sort through the giant stack of mail on the counter”…. and every day I find myself at another restaurant ordering something else fried or greasy. Le sigh.
I’ve put all this out there because I’m hoping that telling all of you how pathetic I have been will motivate me to be less pathetic. Now that I am done with this self loathing post, and that giant bag of skittles, I’m going to have a healthy lunch and clean my house. And later I am going to go to the gym and then have drinks with a couple of friends. This weekend I am going to spend three days taking excellent care of my sweet baby niece and my sick mother, and on Monday I am going to get up early with a positive attitude and I am going to conquer this rut!!
You see, at the beginning of March I went on a health kick. I was eating healthy, I’d given up caffeine, I worked out almost every day for 1-2 hours, and I was on top of my shit. (shit = laundry, chores, bills, work stuff, friend stuff…life in general) Not only was it a piece of cake for me to turn down junk food (get it?), but I didn’t even really crave it all that often. I was so healthy I didn’t even want to be unhealthy! I got motivated to do all that stuff on my own, but shortly after I started working out my siblings and I started having these fitness challenges. And there is nothing like a little healthy sibling rivalry to get your juices flowing, am I right? I was feeling pretty damn good about myself.
Fast forward to June 2, the day our last fitness challenge ended. I didn’t win, my sister in law is a beast on the treadmill, but that didn’t bother me. What bothers me is that the day the challenge ended my motivation came to a screeching halt. That’s an understatement; my motivation went running full speed in the opposite direction and never looked back. And sadly, it wasn’t just my work out routine that suffered. My house is a mess, the laundry is out of control, phone calls need to be made, I haven’t been talking to my friends, my poor husband is probably tired of me lashing out at him, my car is due for inspection, bills need to be paid, groceries need to be bought, books need to be read/studied….and I am just not feeling it. And to make matters worse, I can’t stop eating junk food!! I am eating a “share size” bag of skittles as I write this post. I can’t remember the last time I ate a vegetable. Or a fruit for that matter. I went three months without eating a French fry and now it’s almost a daily occurrence. I am terrified to step on a scale to see how much weight I’ve gained. My clothes don’t fit differently yet, but I definitely feel like crap.
How do I get out of this rut? I’ve tried retail therapy. If you follow me on Instagram (jmelynng) then you’ve seen some of the super cute new clothes I’ve gotten (and on clearance!!), but retail therapy is not doing the trick. I went to yoga last Saturday and I really thought that those 75 minutes of calm strengthening would help….it didn’t. It just made my gluteus hurt for two days. I know that this battle is mental. I tell myself everyday “self, you’re going to go home and eat a healthy lunch while you sort through the giant stack of mail on the counter”…. and every day I find myself at another restaurant ordering something else fried or greasy. Le sigh.
I’ve put all this out there because I’m hoping that telling all of you how pathetic I have been will motivate me to be less pathetic. Now that I am done with this self loathing post, and that giant bag of skittles, I’m going to have a healthy lunch and clean my house. And later I am going to go to the gym and then have drinks with a couple of friends. This weekend I am going to spend three days taking excellent care of my sweet baby niece and my sick mother, and on Monday I am going to get up early with a positive attitude and I am going to conquer this rut!!
Monday, June 11, 2012
Drive Me Crazy
I'm sitting in my hotel room three and a half hours from home. After the drive I feel compelled to complain about the bad drivers with whom I was forced to share the road. First, a quick story about my most righteous road rage moment.
A few months ago I was making the same three and a half hour drive with my mom. I was cruising down the interstate, literally with the car on cruise control, at about 80mph (the speed limit was 70 so that's not too bad). On this particular stretch of interstate the road was four lanes wide and there were three cars within sight, including myself. I was in the fast lane, because I was driving fast, there was an SUV ahead of me in the next lane to my right, and an 18 wheeler ahead of me in the far right-hand lane. As I approached the SUV at 80mph (she appeared to be going 55-60mph) she began to slowly creep into my lane. Since I was driving so much faster then her and I was only about 20ft. away from her bumper I laid on my horn. Her response?? She turned on her turn signal and continued to merge into my lane. Clearly left with no other choice, I slammed on the brakes to slow down. But getting into my lane wasn't good enough for this genius. As soon as she got into my lane, she slammed on her brakes and came to a COMPLETE STOP right in front of me...in the middle of the interstate. Keep in mind I was going 80mph about 5 seconds ago. So I slammed the brakes even harder in an effort to stop, swerved my car on to the shoulder missing her by literally a millimeter, and came to a complete stop right next to her. Me in the grass and her in my lane. This lunatic looked at me and then immediately took off, crossed back over all four lanes and exited the interstate. Road rage doesn't even put a dent in how mad I was. Had there been a gun in my car, I absolutely would have pulled it out and shot out her tires without hesitation. WHO DOES THAT? I have no idea why she felt the need to get in my lane...there was no one behind her, no one in the lane to her right, and she never pulled off the road. And why would you stop in the middle of the interstate? Especially when someone is coming up on you at 80mph and laying on the horn?? I briefly considered following her, but like I mentioned, my very frail mother was in the car. The impact of that collision would have broken every bone in her body. Pure rage.
I am aware that people may think I am a bad driver for whatever reason....because I drive too fast, run red lights with a three second grace period, drive with my knees, whatever. But even while doing all of those things, I still try not to be a jerk to the other people on the road.
I think my biggest pet peeve is people who ride in my blind spot. First of all, its dangerous. If you're going to spend 20 miles driving down the interstate in my blind spot then you can't really complain when I decide to change lanes and land on your car. But aside from that, its annoying and idiotic. If you're going to drive the exact same speed as me then get in front of me or behind me. Why is that so hard for people to do? Additionally, if it's only a two lane road, then you're preventing anyone else from getting by as well. Don't be an asshole!
I also find it incredibly road rage inducing when people can't decide how fast they want to go. I drove over 40 miles on the way up here with my cruise control set on 78. I never changed speeds. Yet the truck in the lane next to me got two car lengths ahead of me, then fell two car lengths behind me, the rode in my blind spot, then got ahead of me and repeated the cycle over and over. Is it that difficult to put your foot on the gas and hold it still? (I'm looking at you Casey!)
People who ride my ass in a traffic jam are just asking to be brake checked. I can't go any faster than the car in front of me or the other 500 cars in front of him, do you really think you're going to get there any faster if you ride 6 inches from my tailgate?
I also don't understand why, on a heavily trafficked interstate, someone will speed up when I turn on my signal to change lanes. I do my best not to cut people off and only get over when there is a reasonable break in traffic. But, if I try to be polite about it and use my turn signal, and you treat it as a reason to speed up so I can't get over, then not only am I going to cut you off, then I'm going to slow down and drive like an asshole to give you a taste of your own medicine.
And lastly, people who don't know how to merge make me want to rear end them just to push them into traffic. Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't we have to learn the difference between a yield sign and a stop sign in order to get a driver's license? Merging does not require coming to a complete stop, and doing so drives me crazy! Get it?!?...The cheese stands alone. :)
Whew, I feel better now.
A few months ago I was making the same three and a half hour drive with my mom. I was cruising down the interstate, literally with the car on cruise control, at about 80mph (the speed limit was 70 so that's not too bad). On this particular stretch of interstate the road was four lanes wide and there were three cars within sight, including myself. I was in the fast lane, because I was driving fast, there was an SUV ahead of me in the next lane to my right, and an 18 wheeler ahead of me in the far right-hand lane. As I approached the SUV at 80mph (she appeared to be going 55-60mph) she began to slowly creep into my lane. Since I was driving so much faster then her and I was only about 20ft. away from her bumper I laid on my horn. Her response?? She turned on her turn signal and continued to merge into my lane. Clearly left with no other choice, I slammed on the brakes to slow down. But getting into my lane wasn't good enough for this genius. As soon as she got into my lane, she slammed on her brakes and came to a COMPLETE STOP right in front of me...in the middle of the interstate. Keep in mind I was going 80mph about 5 seconds ago. So I slammed the brakes even harder in an effort to stop, swerved my car on to the shoulder missing her by literally a millimeter, and came to a complete stop right next to her. Me in the grass and her in my lane. This lunatic looked at me and then immediately took off, crossed back over all four lanes and exited the interstate. Road rage doesn't even put a dent in how mad I was. Had there been a gun in my car, I absolutely would have pulled it out and shot out her tires without hesitation. WHO DOES THAT? I have no idea why she felt the need to get in my lane...there was no one behind her, no one in the lane to her right, and she never pulled off the road. And why would you stop in the middle of the interstate? Especially when someone is coming up on you at 80mph and laying on the horn?? I briefly considered following her, but like I mentioned, my very frail mother was in the car. The impact of that collision would have broken every bone in her body. Pure rage.
I am aware that people may think I am a bad driver for whatever reason....because I drive too fast, run red lights with a three second grace period, drive with my knees, whatever. But even while doing all of those things, I still try not to be a jerk to the other people on the road.
I think my biggest pet peeve is people who ride in my blind spot. First of all, its dangerous. If you're going to spend 20 miles driving down the interstate in my blind spot then you can't really complain when I decide to change lanes and land on your car. But aside from that, its annoying and idiotic. If you're going to drive the exact same speed as me then get in front of me or behind me. Why is that so hard for people to do? Additionally, if it's only a two lane road, then you're preventing anyone else from getting by as well. Don't be an asshole!
I also find it incredibly road rage inducing when people can't decide how fast they want to go. I drove over 40 miles on the way up here with my cruise control set on 78. I never changed speeds. Yet the truck in the lane next to me got two car lengths ahead of me, then fell two car lengths behind me, the rode in my blind spot, then got ahead of me and repeated the cycle over and over. Is it that difficult to put your foot on the gas and hold it still? (I'm looking at you Casey!)
People who ride my ass in a traffic jam are just asking to be brake checked. I can't go any faster than the car in front of me or the other 500 cars in front of him, do you really think you're going to get there any faster if you ride 6 inches from my tailgate?
I also don't understand why, on a heavily trafficked interstate, someone will speed up when I turn on my signal to change lanes. I do my best not to cut people off and only get over when there is a reasonable break in traffic. But, if I try to be polite about it and use my turn signal, and you treat it as a reason to speed up so I can't get over, then not only am I going to cut you off, then I'm going to slow down and drive like an asshole to give you a taste of your own medicine.
And lastly, people who don't know how to merge make me want to rear end them just to push them into traffic. Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't we have to learn the difference between a yield sign and a stop sign in order to get a driver's license? Merging does not require coming to a complete stop, and doing so drives me crazy! Get it?!?...The cheese stands alone. :)
Whew, I feel better now.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Love Who You Love
There are so many things I could say, and arguments I could make, about the government's interference into the lives of our gay peers. Separation of church and state and all that good stuff. But, this is not a politicial blog and I have no desire to talk politics. I just want to talk about tolerance, acceptance, and quite simply...love.
Whether you believe that a person's sexuality is a choice or something that is decided for them through genetic coding or whatever....who cares!?!? Vegetarian's choose not to eat meat and I still like them. Coming from someone who has a religious experience every time I eat a cheeseburger, that's a big deal!
Can someone please explain to me why it is so hard for the citizens of this country to be tolerant and accepting of our peers in the LGBT community?? Love thy neighbor, man! I know it's not everyone, and thankfully we are slowly starting to see more tolerance, but it's the people that continue to be close-minded (and in a lot of cases, downright hateful) that blow me away. I literally cringe when I hear someone use derogatory gay slang as an insult for another person (whether that target be gay or straight). You honestly think that being gay is such a bad thing that it's an insult? Shame on you.
Some of the most vocal advocates against the LGBT community site the Bible and/or their religion as the reason it is wrong. If that is what you believe that is okay, you get to make your own life choices. But, you can find hundreds of Bible verses on love, acceptance, and tolerance of our fellow man. Why is it OK for you to have disdain for another person (when the Bible says you shouldn't) for loving someone of the same sex (when the Bible says they shouldn't)? I am not a super religious person and I'm not looking for a debate on Bible interpretations. I am just pointing out that it is hypocritical for any person to use the Bible's teachings as a reason to hate any other person.
There are also people that are prejudice of the LGBT community out of blatant ignorance. I honestly can not think of one argument for hating a gay person that I can't refute without effort. For example, I know that a lot of guys will claim to dislike gay people because they don't want to get hit on. It grosses them out. Well guess what? It grosses me out when thugs hit on me (Ay baby can I get yo numba?), but I don't hate them. I don't even dislike them. Most of them are actually really polite when they aren't showing off for their thug friends. That's more an issue of manners. Some gay people have manners, some don't. Some thugs have manners, some don't. Hell, sometimes I have manners, and sometimes I don't! (its rare, but it happens) Maybe you don't like gay people because you think they ogle you? Well, welcome to the world of EVERY WOMAN IN AMERICA! Who cares, consider it a compliment and move on with your life.
My point is that it should be of no concern to any of us who another person chooses to love. Gay, straight, black, white, or asain....what effect does it have on me? None. It is no different than hating a person because they choose to love a vegetarian (a choice), an atheist (a choice), a blond (a genetic determination), or a midget (a genetic determination). All of these adjectives are completely irrelevant to who those people are. It breaks my heart that my friends, people just like me, are treated so differently for absolutely no good reason.
Whether you believe that a person's sexuality is a choice or something that is decided for them through genetic coding or whatever....who cares!?!? Vegetarian's choose not to eat meat and I still like them. Coming from someone who has a religious experience every time I eat a cheeseburger, that's a big deal!
Can someone please explain to me why it is so hard for the citizens of this country to be tolerant and accepting of our peers in the LGBT community?? Love thy neighbor, man! I know it's not everyone, and thankfully we are slowly starting to see more tolerance, but it's the people that continue to be close-minded (and in a lot of cases, downright hateful) that blow me away. I literally cringe when I hear someone use derogatory gay slang as an insult for another person (whether that target be gay or straight). You honestly think that being gay is such a bad thing that it's an insult? Shame on you.
Some of the most vocal advocates against the LGBT community site the Bible and/or their religion as the reason it is wrong. If that is what you believe that is okay, you get to make your own life choices. But, you can find hundreds of Bible verses on love, acceptance, and tolerance of our fellow man. Why is it OK for you to have disdain for another person (when the Bible says you shouldn't) for loving someone of the same sex (when the Bible says they shouldn't)? I am not a super religious person and I'm not looking for a debate on Bible interpretations. I am just pointing out that it is hypocritical for any person to use the Bible's teachings as a reason to hate any other person.
There are also people that are prejudice of the LGBT community out of blatant ignorance. I honestly can not think of one argument for hating a gay person that I can't refute without effort. For example, I know that a lot of guys will claim to dislike gay people because they don't want to get hit on. It grosses them out. Well guess what? It grosses me out when thugs hit on me (Ay baby can I get yo numba?), but I don't hate them. I don't even dislike them. Most of them are actually really polite when they aren't showing off for their thug friends. That's more an issue of manners. Some gay people have manners, some don't. Some thugs have manners, some don't. Hell, sometimes I have manners, and sometimes I don't! (its rare, but it happens) Maybe you don't like gay people because you think they ogle you? Well, welcome to the world of EVERY WOMAN IN AMERICA! Who cares, consider it a compliment and move on with your life.
My point is that it should be of no concern to any of us who another person chooses to love. Gay, straight, black, white, or asain....what effect does it have on me? None. It is no different than hating a person because they choose to love a vegetarian (a choice), an atheist (a choice), a blond (a genetic determination), or a midget (a genetic determination). All of these adjectives are completely irrelevant to who those people are. It breaks my heart that my friends, people just like me, are treated so differently for absolutely no good reason.
Monday, June 4, 2012
B*tches be Crazy
Do you know what I don't understand? Controlling women, crazy b*itches. I'm talking about the kind of woman that controls her husband/boyfriend (and treats him like a child) to the point that people outside of the relationship wonder why he is still with her. I'm not here to digest any one's relationship and say that a man should leave his significant other if she's running his life. If he's cool with it and they're happy then good for them. What I don't understand is how a person's conscious can allow them to treat someone they supposedly love that way.
I have been around a group of people and heard a girl say to her husband something along the lines of "You're a f***ing idiot"...what the hell? My husband has never laid a hand on me, but if I said that to him (in front of a group of people no less) and he back-handed me for it, I can't really say that I would blame him! (I'm not condoning abuse, just trying to make a point). This is usually the same girl who won't allow her husband to go out with friends if she can't be there because she might miss out. The girl who never lets her spouse have "guy time." The girl that makes her husband ask for permission for every move he makes (like is it OK to go to lunch with my friends at work or do I have to eat at my desk by myself today? Or do you mind if I loan out my Wii to a friend for a few days?)
I believe the root of this issue is respect. I respect my husband to the extent that I never curse at him, call him names, or do anything else to belittle him as a person (and he is respectful enough to return the favor). What appalls me is women that not only do these things to their spouse, but they do it front of other people! That, in my opinion, is the epitome of disrespect. Additionally, someone who doesn't respect their spouse/significant other is also not likely to acknowledge that they are intelligent enough to make good, informed decisions on their own.
First of all, why would you want a man that lets you walk all over him like that? What a wuss! I have no desire to tell my husband what he can and can't do, but if I tried I'd like to think that he would stand up to me. I tend to like my men with a spine.
Secondly, how can you humiliate your husband by calling him names (whether in public or private) and not feel like a complete dirt bag? Does it make you feel better to belittle the people you love? If so, you need therapy.
Thirdly (third of all??), it is not healthy for one person in a relationship to have all of the authority. I have more than outgrown the age where I need to ask permission for anything I do. There are a lot of things that my husband and I discuss before we do, but we have that discussion as a courtesy. If he wants to go out with his friends Friday he might say "Hey, do you mind if I go out with the guys on Friday?" He's not asking me to get permission and I would never dream of telling him no unless for some reason we had already committed to something that he forgot about. Believe it or not, I know women that will say no, for no reason other than he needs to stay home because she has to work the next morning so it's not fair that she has to stay home (or something else equally selfish and childish).
Lastly, I believe it makes a relationship stronger if both man and woman have times that they can enjoy the company of their friends without the old ball and chain tagging along. Time apart is healthy even if it's seldom.
P.S. I am fully aware that there are just as many crazy, controlling men as there are woman. I just don't happen to know any of those so this post is just about crazy b*tches! :)
I have been around a group of people and heard a girl say to her husband something along the lines of "You're a f***ing idiot"...what the hell? My husband has never laid a hand on me, but if I said that to him (in front of a group of people no less) and he back-handed me for it, I can't really say that I would blame him! (I'm not condoning abuse, just trying to make a point). This is usually the same girl who won't allow her husband to go out with friends if she can't be there because she might miss out. The girl who never lets her spouse have "guy time." The girl that makes her husband ask for permission for every move he makes (like is it OK to go to lunch with my friends at work or do I have to eat at my desk by myself today? Or do you mind if I loan out my Wii to a friend for a few days?)
I believe the root of this issue is respect. I respect my husband to the extent that I never curse at him, call him names, or do anything else to belittle him as a person (and he is respectful enough to return the favor). What appalls me is women that not only do these things to their spouse, but they do it front of other people! That, in my opinion, is the epitome of disrespect. Additionally, someone who doesn't respect their spouse/significant other is also not likely to acknowledge that they are intelligent enough to make good, informed decisions on their own.
First of all, why would you want a man that lets you walk all over him like that? What a wuss! I have no desire to tell my husband what he can and can't do, but if I tried I'd like to think that he would stand up to me. I tend to like my men with a spine.
Secondly, how can you humiliate your husband by calling him names (whether in public or private) and not feel like a complete dirt bag? Does it make you feel better to belittle the people you love? If so, you need therapy.
Thirdly (third of all??), it is not healthy for one person in a relationship to have all of the authority. I have more than outgrown the age where I need to ask permission for anything I do. There are a lot of things that my husband and I discuss before we do, but we have that discussion as a courtesy. If he wants to go out with his friends Friday he might say "Hey, do you mind if I go out with the guys on Friday?" He's not asking me to get permission and I would never dream of telling him no unless for some reason we had already committed to something that he forgot about. Believe it or not, I know women that will say no, for no reason other than he needs to stay home because she has to work the next morning so it's not fair that she has to stay home (or something else equally selfish and childish).
Lastly, I believe it makes a relationship stronger if both man and woman have times that they can enjoy the company of their friends without the old ball and chain tagging along. Time apart is healthy even if it's seldom.
P.S. I am fully aware that there are just as many crazy, controlling men as there are woman. I just don't happen to know any of those so this post is just about crazy b*tches! :)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Répondez, S'il Vous Plaît: A Necessity, Not a Formality
Note from Jamie: This is my first guest post from my sister-in-law, who had something she needed to get off of her chest.
By: Taylor Culjan
Do you have any idea what happens next? For the next two-three hours, a frenzied hostess dashes throughout the house receiving and serving guests, making sure the birthday girl has a genuine smile planted firmly on her face, and trying to remember to take the occasional breath for good measure.
About three-fourths of the way through the party, I notice that you’re not there. I assumed (yes, we all know what happens when I assume) you were coming. I didn’t really notice your absence at first (don’t flatter yourself), but there’s all this uneaten food on the table, and there’s eight goody bags yet unclaimed. Yet, I plainly recall sending you an expensive, custom-printed and designed invitation through the mail. News flash: that’s my money you just wasted. That’s my time you squandered. Your unclaimed party favor and your uneaten plate symbolize a lack of respect, graciousness, and to be completely honest, good breeding. Perhaps my feelings are or are not bruised because of your absence. Mayhap it’s the sensibilities of a child you’ve affected. People do not always comprehend or acknowledge how offensive it can be to simply “not show up.”
Take the 30 seconds to R.S.V.P. With all the forms of communication in our technological and digital world, send an email, text, or leave a voicemail. You have no excuse…but “regrets only”.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Money Matters
I want to talk about this country's problem with money management. I'm not talking about our government, that's a whole other issue. I'm talking about the regular folks, the "99%", if you will.
I've tried to write this several different ways now, and each time it ends up sounding kind of mean. At the risk of offending someone (but no one in particular, I'm not attacking), I'm going to write it anyways.
DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to know everything about money management, or budgeting, or this country's problems. This is just my two cents on the subject.
I know some people, and of some people, that are so bad at managing their finances that it just makes you want to shake the shit out of them and scream "Are you really that stupid???" (See? Mean.) First, let me say that I do not talk to people about my finances. No one, except my husband, knows how much money we make and what kind of bills we pay each month or what we save, etc. But believe it or not, there are people who have no problem sharing this information. What's funny is that it's usually the people that are making the worst financial decisions that are eager to share their business with others.
I used to know someone who was never embarrassed to tell me that all five of their credit cards were maxed out and they only had $100 in the bank. If that's your situation then okay, do the best you can, but in the same breath they would say something like "oh yeah, we're going to the beach for a weekend getaway"....wait, what? With what money?? "Oh, did I say the credit cards were maxed out? We actually have $100 left on one so that will be plenty." I'm not making this stuff up. Some people really are that terrible at managing their money. The second they make a payment on the credit card they just turn around and spend it again. I can't even count the number of times that I offered to help them work out a budget so they could get out of debt and then save up for a vacation, or car, or whatever frivolous thing they were always spending money on. They were never interested in the responsible route... I know someone else who would talk about their $30k+ in debt one week, the new truck they just leased the next week, the collections calls about the credit cards the next week, and the fence they were installing in the backyard the next week. You. Idiot.
I'm not trying to tell people what they should or shouldn't spend their money on. One of the beauties of this country is that you can spend your money on whatever you want (well, most of it, but I digress). If you can afford it, then who am I to say you shouldn't go out and buy every season of Dawson's Creek on DVD to watch on the brand new 70" TV you just bought? Knock yourself out!! But the problem is that the people who can't afford it are continuously maxed out on their credit cards and struggling to make ends meet because they don't understand that you can't buy everything you want just because you have a few dollars of open credit on the MasterCard. You, my friends, are the reason this country is in such a terrible financial situation. Just because a credit card company is dumb enough to give you a $10,000 line of credit doesn't mean that you should be dumb enough to max it out when you know damn well you can't pay it back, at 20% interest no less! Use your heads people!
Don't even get me started on people buying houses with mortgages they can't afford just because the bank was greedy enough to loan them the money. Hello mortgage crisis.
Here is my point. I have a point! This country's situation is only going to get worse if people don't learn how to manage their money and get themselves out of debt rather than expecting the government to do it for them. It's not Obama's fault that you're an idiot. (I know, mean, the truth hurts)
End rant.
I would like to offer up a couple small pieces of advice as my contribution to society. It's not going to get anyone out debt next month, but it will certainly point them in the right direction.
1. Figure out where you can cut costs. I know that no one wants to live more frugally, but unfortunately it's a necessary evil. Reduce your cable package (or shut it off all together and pay $8/mo. for Hulu+). Call your insurance company to see if you qualify for any discounts or reductions (be careful, this back fired on me once and my rates went up when they ran a check and found a recent speeding ticket). Search coupons.com before you go to the grocery store for free coupons that you can print for the items that you usually buy. Reduce your cell phone minutes. You get my drift?
2. Call your credit card companies and ask them to lower your interest rate. This doesn't always work, but it has before. The worst thing they can do is tell you no.
3. Create a budget and stick to it. Your monthly budget should only include the things that you need to spend money on to get buy. Food (and I don't mean fancy dinners out), gas (and I don't mean weekend trips), utilities, etc. Everything thing that is leftover should be thrown at credit cards. Personally, I would make the minimum payment on the lower interest rate cards so that you can pay the higher interest rate cards off first. If they are all pretty much the same, split it up evenly or pay one off at a time.
And most importantly...
4. Learn how to to tell yourself no. I know it sounds fun to spend $100 every weekend at the bar. And I know it's hard to pass up that awesome sale at your favorite store or the sweet deal on a new car, or whatever it is that floats your boat. But, if you don't need it to get by, and you don't have the flexible income to buy it, then you don't need it. Just say no and walk away.
SECOND DISCLAIMER: This post is not meant to ridicule anyone who is in debt and/or struggles to get by for the simple reason that life is expensive and the pay checks don't cover the bills. I get that.
I've tried to write this several different ways now, and each time it ends up sounding kind of mean. At the risk of offending someone (but no one in particular, I'm not attacking), I'm going to write it anyways.
DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to know everything about money management, or budgeting, or this country's problems. This is just my two cents on the subject.
I know some people, and of some people, that are so bad at managing their finances that it just makes you want to shake the shit out of them and scream "Are you really that stupid???" (See? Mean.) First, let me say that I do not talk to people about my finances. No one, except my husband, knows how much money we make and what kind of bills we pay each month or what we save, etc. But believe it or not, there are people who have no problem sharing this information. What's funny is that it's usually the people that are making the worst financial decisions that are eager to share their business with others.
I used to know someone who was never embarrassed to tell me that all five of their credit cards were maxed out and they only had $100 in the bank. If that's your situation then okay, do the best you can, but in the same breath they would say something like "oh yeah, we're going to the beach for a weekend getaway"....wait, what? With what money?? "Oh, did I say the credit cards were maxed out? We actually have $100 left on one so that will be plenty." I'm not making this stuff up. Some people really are that terrible at managing their money. The second they make a payment on the credit card they just turn around and spend it again. I can't even count the number of times that I offered to help them work out a budget so they could get out of debt and then save up for a vacation, or car, or whatever frivolous thing they were always spending money on. They were never interested in the responsible route... I know someone else who would talk about their $30k+ in debt one week, the new truck they just leased the next week, the collections calls about the credit cards the next week, and the fence they were installing in the backyard the next week. You. Idiot.
I'm not trying to tell people what they should or shouldn't spend their money on. One of the beauties of this country is that you can spend your money on whatever you want (well, most of it, but I digress). If you can afford it, then who am I to say you shouldn't go out and buy every season of Dawson's Creek on DVD to watch on the brand new 70" TV you just bought? Knock yourself out!! But the problem is that the people who can't afford it are continuously maxed out on their credit cards and struggling to make ends meet because they don't understand that you can't buy everything you want just because you have a few dollars of open credit on the MasterCard. You, my friends, are the reason this country is in such a terrible financial situation. Just because a credit card company is dumb enough to give you a $10,000 line of credit doesn't mean that you should be dumb enough to max it out when you know damn well you can't pay it back, at 20% interest no less! Use your heads people!
Don't even get me started on people buying houses with mortgages they can't afford just because the bank was greedy enough to loan them the money. Hello mortgage crisis.
Here is my point. I have a point! This country's situation is only going to get worse if people don't learn how to manage their money and get themselves out of debt rather than expecting the government to do it for them. It's not Obama's fault that you're an idiot. (I know, mean, the truth hurts)
End rant.
I would like to offer up a couple small pieces of advice as my contribution to society. It's not going to get anyone out debt next month, but it will certainly point them in the right direction.
1. Figure out where you can cut costs. I know that no one wants to live more frugally, but unfortunately it's a necessary evil. Reduce your cable package (or shut it off all together and pay $8/mo. for Hulu+). Call your insurance company to see if you qualify for any discounts or reductions (be careful, this back fired on me once and my rates went up when they ran a check and found a recent speeding ticket). Search coupons.com before you go to the grocery store for free coupons that you can print for the items that you usually buy. Reduce your cell phone minutes. You get my drift?
2. Call your credit card companies and ask them to lower your interest rate. This doesn't always work, but it has before. The worst thing they can do is tell you no.
3. Create a budget and stick to it. Your monthly budget should only include the things that you need to spend money on to get buy. Food (and I don't mean fancy dinners out), gas (and I don't mean weekend trips), utilities, etc. Everything thing that is leftover should be thrown at credit cards. Personally, I would make the minimum payment on the lower interest rate cards so that you can pay the higher interest rate cards off first. If they are all pretty much the same, split it up evenly or pay one off at a time.
And most importantly...
4. Learn how to to tell yourself no. I know it sounds fun to spend $100 every weekend at the bar. And I know it's hard to pass up that awesome sale at your favorite store or the sweet deal on a new car, or whatever it is that floats your boat. But, if you don't need it to get by, and you don't have the flexible income to buy it, then you don't need it. Just say no and walk away.
SECOND DISCLAIMER: This post is not meant to ridicule anyone who is in debt and/or struggles to get by for the simple reason that life is expensive and the pay checks don't cover the bills. I get that.
Confidence
I started to blog about how poorly the people in this country, my peers, manage their money, but I get so mad about it that the post was becoming offensive. So, I'll revisit it another day.
Instead, I'm going to write about confidence issues, insecurities, narcissism, etc. This post was inspired by my brother who accused me of being a narcissist for posting fashion diaries on Facebook.
Allow me to explain....
I have always hated to waste a cute outfit on an insignificant day. I don't mean to sound cliche, it's the truth. I sit in a cubicle in a back corner of the office and no one ever sees me with the exception of my sister (who sits next to me) and a few random people that I don't know. Why would I dress up for that? This led me to get sloppy. Like, really sloppy. No make-up, hair in a ponytail, jeans, hoodies, the works. It got to the point where the few people I saw everyday were looking at me like I was some kind of hoodrat. I can't really say that I blame them. So I thought to myself, "Self, you have nice clothes and you need to wear them." My next thought was "but I don't want to extend that much effort on an outfit no one will see!" Well, there is a trend on Instagram (a photo sharing website for those of you living under a rock) where people take pictures of their outfit for the day and label it #fashiondiaries for all the other fashionistas to see (I use the term "fashionista" very loosely because I far, far from it.) And there, a solution was born. I'll dress up so I can post fashion diaries and lots of people can see my outfit! Anyways, I had all of my fashion diaries posting to Facebook as well, but I stopped when my brother called me a narcissist.
Now that you have that tidbit of useless and slightly insignificant information....
Confidence is funny. You can never tell who has it and who doesn't, and just because you have it doesn't mean you always have it. For example, me. People who know me probably think I'm confident to the point of arrogance at times.... no so my friends. I don't admit it often, but I am a very self conscious person. Like, very. I am usually only 100% confident about my appearance if someone else picked out my outfit and did my hair and make-up. Preferably my best friend because she has better taste than anyone I know. She told me a few weeks ago that I was kind of plan (in that good "less is more" kind of way) and the reason is because I don't have the confidence to try new things. I don't want to be judged! I don't mean to come off like a timid mouse about my appearance, I'm usually about 75% sure I don't look like a complete moron. However, if you put me in a room full of girls that confidence level plummets to about 25%. Girls are judgy and opinionated (I am not innocent in this) and I can only imagine what they would have to say about my efforts to be stylish. With all of that being said, I guess what might come off to some as narcissism (i.e. posting pictures of my outfit on Facebook) is really just an attempt to make sure I don't look like a fool. So help me, I will continue to post my fashion diaries on Instagram until I wear something that constitutes a "like" from my best friend! I'm kidding....kind of. :)
I went out last Thursday evening in an outfit that I did not feel so confident about because it was a little outside of my comfort zone. Trendy if you will. Within an hour of walking out the door I had three different people compliment my outfit. Suddenly, I felt pretty damn good about myself. On Sunday, I saw this girl walking through the park and I told my husband I loved her shoes. He said "aren't you going to tell her?" I didn't. He said "but you like it when people compliment you"....and he's right, because who doesn't?
Those are all material insecurities, though. There are also the even bigger physical insecurities. No matter what you think, even the most beautiful, or skinny, or fit people have things about them that they don't like and feel insecure about. We are our own worst critics, right? There is this gorgeous girl at work. She is 5'10 or 5'11, long natural blond hair, perfect figure...the works. Even I can't help but stare when I see her. But she can probably name three things off the top of her head that she hates about her looks. Even "perfect" people aren' t perfect in their own eyes. So, you can only imagine the laundry list of insecurities the average person has about their physical appearances.
This post is kind of all over the place, but I do have a point. What I am trying to say is that if you see someone wearing something that you really like, or who has pretty hair, or particularly noticeable eyes, or WHATEVER, you should tell them. Tell your significant other how nice they look whenever you get the chance and keep your nonconstructive criticisms to yourself. You never know who may be struggling with confidence issues. Just because they look it, doesn't mean they are!
Side note: This post is about appearances, but I could write a whole other post about confidence in your (my) career, intelligence, etc. Maybe some other day....
Instead, I'm going to write about confidence issues, insecurities, narcissism, etc. This post was inspired by my brother who accused me of being a narcissist for posting fashion diaries on Facebook.
Allow me to explain....
I have always hated to waste a cute outfit on an insignificant day. I don't mean to sound cliche, it's the truth. I sit in a cubicle in a back corner of the office and no one ever sees me with the exception of my sister (who sits next to me) and a few random people that I don't know. Why would I dress up for that? This led me to get sloppy. Like, really sloppy. No make-up, hair in a ponytail, jeans, hoodies, the works. It got to the point where the few people I saw everyday were looking at me like I was some kind of hoodrat. I can't really say that I blame them. So I thought to myself, "Self, you have nice clothes and you need to wear them." My next thought was "but I don't want to extend that much effort on an outfit no one will see!" Well, there is a trend on Instagram (a photo sharing website for those of you living under a rock) where people take pictures of their outfit for the day and label it #fashiondiaries for all the other fashionistas to see (I use the term "fashionista" very loosely because I far, far from it.) And there, a solution was born. I'll dress up so I can post fashion diaries and lots of people can see my outfit! Anyways, I had all of my fashion diaries posting to Facebook as well, but I stopped when my brother called me a narcissist.
Now that you have that tidbit of useless and slightly insignificant information....
Confidence is funny. You can never tell who has it and who doesn't, and just because you have it doesn't mean you always have it. For example, me. People who know me probably think I'm confident to the point of arrogance at times.... no so my friends. I don't admit it often, but I am a very self conscious person. Like, very. I am usually only 100% confident about my appearance if someone else picked out my outfit and did my hair and make-up. Preferably my best friend because she has better taste than anyone I know. She told me a few weeks ago that I was kind of plan (in that good "less is more" kind of way) and the reason is because I don't have the confidence to try new things. I don't want to be judged! I don't mean to come off like a timid mouse about my appearance, I'm usually about 75% sure I don't look like a complete moron. However, if you put me in a room full of girls that confidence level plummets to about 25%. Girls are judgy and opinionated (I am not innocent in this) and I can only imagine what they would have to say about my efforts to be stylish. With all of that being said, I guess what might come off to some as narcissism (i.e. posting pictures of my outfit on Facebook) is really just an attempt to make sure I don't look like a fool. So help me, I will continue to post my fashion diaries on Instagram until I wear something that constitutes a "like" from my best friend! I'm kidding....kind of. :)
I went out last Thursday evening in an outfit that I did not feel so confident about because it was a little outside of my comfort zone. Trendy if you will. Within an hour of walking out the door I had three different people compliment my outfit. Suddenly, I felt pretty damn good about myself. On Sunday, I saw this girl walking through the park and I told my husband I loved her shoes. He said "aren't you going to tell her?" I didn't. He said "but you like it when people compliment you"....and he's right, because who doesn't?
Those are all material insecurities, though. There are also the even bigger physical insecurities. No matter what you think, even the most beautiful, or skinny, or fit people have things about them that they don't like and feel insecure about. We are our own worst critics, right? There is this gorgeous girl at work. She is 5'10 or 5'11, long natural blond hair, perfect figure...the works. Even I can't help but stare when I see her. But she can probably name three things off the top of her head that she hates about her looks. Even "perfect" people aren' t perfect in their own eyes. So, you can only imagine the laundry list of insecurities the average person has about their physical appearances.
This post is kind of all over the place, but I do have a point. What I am trying to say is that if you see someone wearing something that you really like, or who has pretty hair, or particularly noticeable eyes, or WHATEVER, you should tell them. Tell your significant other how nice they look whenever you get the chance and keep your nonconstructive criticisms to yourself. You never know who may be struggling with confidence issues. Just because they look it, doesn't mean they are!
Side note: This post is about appearances, but I could write a whole other post about confidence in your (my) career, intelligence, etc. Maybe some other day....
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Tipping
I would like to climb on top of my soap box and talk about tipping.
In my own humble opinion, I think our society has gotten way too carried away with tipping. I think there are instances where it is blatantly rude not to tip, and then instances where its kind of rude for you to expect me to tip. I refuse to go around giving away money to every person I encounter just because I can afford it.
The obvious situations where you should leave a tip are servers at restaurants who only make $2-$3/hour. Even when the service is bad I will leave a minimal tip. However, if the service is good, I leave an awesome tip. I've been known to leave 25-30% if you do your job right! Then, there are delivery guys. Those guys usually don't make much per hour and have to extend an effort to get your food/items to you in tact and on time while balancing not getting a speeding ticket, keeping the tank full (or tires pumped if it's a bicycle), and putting wear and tear on their own vehicles. They deserve a tip.
Then there are the grayer areas where we tip because society says we should, but I don't ever really feel good about it. For instance, the hair salon... I just paid you anywhere from $30-$100 to do my hair, and then I have to tip you because you did your job right? These days I tip my hair stylist because I've been going to her for years, she knows exactly what I like, and she knows me and I love her to death. But, before I just did it out of obligation. Those people charge a lot of money for a haircut/style/color and expecting to be tipped on top of that just seems greedy. I realize they are providing a service, but I am paying for that service when I fork over $50 for my haircut, am I not?
The nail salon is a particularly sore spot for me recently. I went in to a place that I've never been before last week for a quick paint job on my toes. Not a pedicure, just some paint. It took the girl 5 minutes, literally, and it costs me $10. No biggie. When the receptionist was checking me out, she asked me if I would like to leave a tip on the card. Sure, $2. I mean, that's 20% and the girl had to extend practically no effort. The woman looked at me like I was a bug and said "Just $2?"... Yes, JUST $2 on the 5 minute paint job your technician just gave me, despite the fact that I am paying you $10 for that service. I was so irritated I thought about leaving nothing, but it wasn't the same girl checking me out so it wouldn't have been fair to the girl that painted my nails.
I guess what bugs me the most is, where do we draw the line on tipping? If your company is providing a service, and I come to your business and pay for that service, why should I have to pay extra just because you did your job correctly? Food establishments aren't really offering a service, they sell a product (the food), the service is a bonus so I tip their underpaid help. Will we one day have to start tipping our nurses, dentists, and grocery store cashiers and baggers? Who gets to say what services we tip for and which ones we don't? I personally draw the line at tipping people who went above and beyond what I paid them to do. If you just did your job correctly then congratulations, your boss will probably let you keep your job and you will continue to get a paycheck for doing so!
Today I went into one of those restaurants that's semi-fast food. You order your food at the counter, get your own drink and utensils, and then someone will run the food to your table when its ready. If I want a refill, I get it myself. However, when I paid for my food the girl handed me the credit card slip with a place to sign my name and leave a tip. I didn't leave one and then I felt guilty, and like I was being judged as cheap. This bothers me because I tip well where tipping is due, but is it really due to someone who makes minimum wage and does their job correctly? I know minimum wage isnt much, but its what our government has determined as enough to get by, and we all had to start somewhere, right?
In my own humble opinion, I think our society has gotten way too carried away with tipping. I think there are instances where it is blatantly rude not to tip, and then instances where its kind of rude for you to expect me to tip. I refuse to go around giving away money to every person I encounter just because I can afford it.
The obvious situations where you should leave a tip are servers at restaurants who only make $2-$3/hour. Even when the service is bad I will leave a minimal tip. However, if the service is good, I leave an awesome tip. I've been known to leave 25-30% if you do your job right! Then, there are delivery guys. Those guys usually don't make much per hour and have to extend an effort to get your food/items to you in tact and on time while balancing not getting a speeding ticket, keeping the tank full (or tires pumped if it's a bicycle), and putting wear and tear on their own vehicles. They deserve a tip.
Then there are the grayer areas where we tip because society says we should, but I don't ever really feel good about it. For instance, the hair salon... I just paid you anywhere from $30-$100 to do my hair, and then I have to tip you because you did your job right? These days I tip my hair stylist because I've been going to her for years, she knows exactly what I like, and she knows me and I love her to death. But, before I just did it out of obligation. Those people charge a lot of money for a haircut/style/color and expecting to be tipped on top of that just seems greedy. I realize they are providing a service, but I am paying for that service when I fork over $50 for my haircut, am I not?
The nail salon is a particularly sore spot for me recently. I went in to a place that I've never been before last week for a quick paint job on my toes. Not a pedicure, just some paint. It took the girl 5 minutes, literally, and it costs me $10. No biggie. When the receptionist was checking me out, she asked me if I would like to leave a tip on the card. Sure, $2. I mean, that's 20% and the girl had to extend practically no effort. The woman looked at me like I was a bug and said "Just $2?"... Yes, JUST $2 on the 5 minute paint job your technician just gave me, despite the fact that I am paying you $10 for that service. I was so irritated I thought about leaving nothing, but it wasn't the same girl checking me out so it wouldn't have been fair to the girl that painted my nails.
I guess what bugs me the most is, where do we draw the line on tipping? If your company is providing a service, and I come to your business and pay for that service, why should I have to pay extra just because you did your job correctly? Food establishments aren't really offering a service, they sell a product (the food), the service is a bonus so I tip their underpaid help. Will we one day have to start tipping our nurses, dentists, and grocery store cashiers and baggers? Who gets to say what services we tip for and which ones we don't? I personally draw the line at tipping people who went above and beyond what I paid them to do. If you just did your job correctly then congratulations, your boss will probably let you keep your job and you will continue to get a paycheck for doing so!
Today I went into one of those restaurants that's semi-fast food. You order your food at the counter, get your own drink and utensils, and then someone will run the food to your table when its ready. If I want a refill, I get it myself. However, when I paid for my food the girl handed me the credit card slip with a place to sign my name and leave a tip. I didn't leave one and then I felt guilty, and like I was being judged as cheap. This bothers me because I tip well where tipping is due, but is it really due to someone who makes minimum wage and does their job correctly? I know minimum wage isnt much, but its what our government has determined as enough to get by, and we all had to start somewhere, right?
Hello World
I use the term "world" very loosely as I fully expect to have 1 reader on a good week. I can always count on my sister to give me a self-inflated sense of importance. :)
I started this blog as a way to put the really random chains of thought that go through my head on a daily basis into words. Why? No real resaon. I just thought it would make me feel better if I could get it off my chest.
I have no idea where this will lead me or how long I will actually keep up with it, but I make this solemn vow: If I am still blogging when I have kids, I promise not to turn this into a blog about my kid. Because who wants to read about fussy babies and dirty diapers? (Actually, I really enjoy reading other people's blogs about their kids but its not my thing).
I started this blog as a way to put the really random chains of thought that go through my head on a daily basis into words. Why? No real resaon. I just thought it would make me feel better if I could get it off my chest.
I have no idea where this will lead me or how long I will actually keep up with it, but I make this solemn vow: If I am still blogging when I have kids, I promise not to turn this into a blog about my kid. Because who wants to read about fussy babies and dirty diapers? (Actually, I really enjoy reading other people's blogs about their kids but its not my thing).
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