Confidence

I started to blog about how poorly the people in this country, my peers, manage their money, but I get so mad about it that the post was becoming offensive. So, I'll revisit it another day.

Instead, I'm going to write about confidence issues, insecurities, narcissism, etc. This post was inspired by my brother who accused me of being a narcissist for posting fashion diaries on Facebook.

Allow me to explain....

I have always hated to waste a cute outfit on an insignificant day. I don't mean to sound cliche, it's the truth. I sit in a cubicle in a back corner of the office and no one ever sees me with the exception of my sister (who sits next to me) and a few random people that I don't know. Why would I dress up for that? This led me to get sloppy. Like, really sloppy. No make-up, hair in a ponytail, jeans, hoodies, the works. It got to the point where the few people I saw everyday were looking at me like I was some kind of hoodrat. I can't really say that I blame them. So I thought to myself, "Self, you have nice clothes and you need to wear them." My next thought was "but I don't want to extend that much effort on an outfit no one will see!" Well, there is a trend on Instagram (a photo sharing website for those of you living under a rock) where people take pictures of their outfit for the day and label it #fashiondiaries for all the other fashionistas to see (I use the term "fashionista" very loosely because I far, far from it.) And there, a solution was born. I'll dress up so I can post fashion diaries and lots of people can see my outfit! Anyways, I had all of my fashion diaries posting to Facebook as well, but I stopped when my brother called me a narcissist.

Now that you have that tidbit of useless and slightly insignificant information....

Confidence is funny. You can never tell who has it and who doesn't, and just because you have it doesn't mean you always have it. For example, me. People who know me probably think I'm confident to the point of arrogance at times.... no so my friends. I don't admit it often, but I am a very self conscious person. Like, very. I am usually only 100% confident about my appearance if someone else picked out my outfit and did my hair and make-up. Preferably my best friend because she has better taste than anyone I know. She told me a few weeks ago that I was kind of plan (in that good "less is more" kind of way) and the reason is because I don't have the confidence to try new things. I don't want to be judged! I don't mean to come off like a timid mouse about my appearance, I'm usually about 75% sure I don't look like a complete moron. However, if you put me in a room full of girls that confidence level plummets to about 25%. Girls are judgy and opinionated (I am not innocent in this) and I can only imagine what they would have to say about my efforts to be stylish. With all of that being said, I guess what might come off to some as narcissism (i.e. posting pictures of my outfit on Facebook) is really just an attempt to make sure I don't look like a fool. So help me, I will continue to post my fashion diaries on Instagram until I wear something that constitutes a "like" from my best friend! I'm kidding....kind of. :)

I went out last Thursday evening in an outfit that I did not feel so confident about because it was a little outside of my comfort zone. Trendy if you will. Within an hour of walking out the door I had three different people compliment my outfit. Suddenly, I felt pretty damn good about myself. On Sunday, I saw this girl walking through the park and I told my husband I loved her shoes. He said "aren't you going to tell her?" I didn't. He said "but you like it when people compliment you"....and he's right, because who doesn't?

Those are all material insecurities, though. There are also the even bigger physical insecurities. No matter what you think, even the most beautiful, or skinny, or fit people have things about them that they don't like and feel insecure about. We are our own worst critics, right? There is this gorgeous girl at work. She is 5'10 or 5'11, long natural blond hair, perfect figure...the works. Even I can't help but stare when I see her. But she can probably name three things off the top of her head that she hates about her looks. Even "perfect" people aren' t perfect in their own eyes. So, you can only imagine the laundry list of insecurities the average person has about their physical appearances.

This post is kind of all over the place, but I do have a point. What I am trying to say is that if you see someone wearing something that you really like, or who has pretty hair, or particularly noticeable eyes, or WHATEVER, you should tell them. Tell your significant other how nice they look whenever you get the chance and keep your nonconstructive criticisms to yourself. You never know who may be struggling with confidence issues. Just because they look it, doesn't mean they are!


Side note: This post is about appearances, but I could write a whole other post about confidence in your (my) career, intelligence, etc. Maybe some other day....