Note from Jamie: This is my first guest post from my sister-in-law, who had something she needed to get off of her chest.
By: Taylor Culjan
I may not have come from the most refined of homes, been part of the most polite and sophisticated groups in society, or attended some absurd and pretentious finishing school, but my mother taught me manners. It’s astounding to me how many people lack the simple courtesy involved in replying to an invitation. As a parent, wife, and young (relatively) woman, I enjoy entertaining. I frequently hold casual parties and small gatherings at my home, those of which include children’s birthday parties, Halloween parties, Christmas Eve parties, Baptism receptions, showers, and the like. I spend an appreciable amount of money on these events. You’d be astonished at the costs and preparation involved in planning these functions. Take a child’s birthday party, for example. You have the following basic expenses for a moderately-scaled soiree: Invitations ($30-$60), Refreshments ($150-$200), Entertainment ($100-$200), Decorations ($100-$150), and Favors ($50-$75). So, if I am spending $500 or more on hosting a child’s party, I am inclined to believe that I have a fair or ample amount of guests attending my event. After assembling thirty or more goody bags, ordering a cake large enough to feed all of my guests, buying enough food and drink to be assured that all are well-fed, setting up tables and chairs, moving my own furniture to accommodate a decent number of people in my humble abode, sanitizing, disinfecting, and expunging both bathrooms and the rest of my modest castle until all of it sparkles ridiculously, relocating vehicles from the driveway for visitor parking space, mowing and tidying up the lawn, cooking, preparing, and setting out appetizers, main dishes, and desserts, setting out utensils, table cloths, snacks, hanging decorations, and any other last minute components of preparation and beautification, I am thoroughly (and my husband may say absurdly and unnecessarily) frazzled and often fatigued.
Do you have any idea what happens next? For the next two-three hours, a frenzied hostess dashes throughout the house receiving and serving guests, making sure the birthday girl has a genuine smile planted firmly on her face, and trying to remember to take the occasional breath for good measure.
About three-fourths of the way through the party, I notice that you’re not there. I assumed (yes, we all know what happens when I assume) you were coming. I didn’t really notice your absence at first (don’t flatter yourself), but there’s all this uneaten food on the table, and there’s eight goody bags yet unclaimed. Yet, I plainly recall sending you an expensive, custom-printed and designed invitation through the mail. News flash: that’s my money you just wasted. That’s my time you squandered. Your unclaimed party favor and your uneaten plate symbolize a lack of respect, graciousness, and to be completely honest, good breeding. Perhaps my feelings are or are not bruised because of your absence. Mayhap it’s the sensibilities of a child you’ve affected. People do not always comprehend or acknowledge how offensive it can be to simply “not show up.”
Take the 30 seconds to R.S.V.P. With all the forms of communication in our technological and digital world, send an email, text, or leave a voicemail. You have no excuse…but “regrets only”.
I have to admit that I have had times when I have completely forgotten to RSVP, but for the most part I do it as soon as the invitation is received. I hate when people don't let you know and then you have too many people, not enough food or too much food and not enough people. It is a pain and very embarrassing! Good post! :)
ReplyDelete~Maggie